"stop, Avi you make no sense,
What is so wrong with you, eh
when will you understand?!
You, your words are chaos
You don't write poetry,
you write crap man!"
That's how it is, I am but a kid,
My words make no sense,
My thoughts?
They say i've to get rid of it
The world outside maybe cruel,
But I thought i'll be whole with the ones my kind,
But no!
To them i'm just someone with no depth in his rhymes
Maybe I never read enough,
So my words don't echo the dead voices
I just began to write when I first learned to spell
But again I never had many choices
I tried to break away from the herd,
Those rules and conventions never held me down,
But they always found faults in my method,
Made me turn around
"wait, Avi haha what is this ?
Do these words even mean a thing ?
Your poems are so bad,
Mate, you are good for nothing
And what's up with this one over here,
Do you think anyone will read it ?
Even if they did by mistake,
Don't you think they'll find it stupid ?
He walks on the lonely trails,
Forgotten with passage of time
Every sight is a word,
Painting a picture in his Mind
He picks a blade instead,
Time to draw some scars
Even if we run to the end of the world,
We can never escape who we really are
He makes a wish and lets go,
May the winds reach their place
He looks in the mirror and stares hard,
But he can't recognize his own face
"today I feel like dying,
Its 3 am and everyone's asleep
I guess i'll go for a walk
Been weeks now but I just can't sleep"
"it was quiet dark and lonely,
But the silence held some kind of magic
My hands ache to write something,
But I won't, I know it'll be too tragic"
Take me as I am,
If I am nothing else, i'm pure
Even though I can't write
I still feel like a poet down to the core
I know you'll frown,
But I cant lie, I dont want to live anymore
But I know someday i'll die,
So i'm 'gonna put up with life somemore
All I want is to be heard,
Guess that's not too much to ask
To move someone with my words,
A quiet feeling that would last
I don't want to be remembered
But I want someone to know who I was,
That I always found my way back, alone
No matter how lost I was
That even though I kissed the blade,
It never was a friend,
that I am sorry for all I did,
But sometimes I just wanted it all to end
"why are you sad , Avi ?
Don't you have everything ?"
- I guess something's wrong with my brain,
It just keeps coming back all over again
"why don't you opt for therapy"
-them drugs could never make me happy
"you don't have to be so ******* yourself"
- sometimes it's the only thing that helps
"Avi, remember we're all here for you"
-I don't care, i've fought all my battles without you
"if you go on like this you'll even lose the ones that are left"
-I guess it's true what doc said, no one can save me from myself
I wait in the hall,
She calls my name out
"he is ready for you"
Rings a little loud
I walk inside the door,
There he is , so old and grey
I wonder what he'll say
But there's just silence today
"Avi, i saw your reports
It shows improvement
i guess those sessions are working"
-what about my inner torment ?
"it's all in your mind"
- i know
" these pills will help you "
-i know
"take one in the morning
And one in the night,
One when you feel sick
And one when you feel alright"
- will it ever stop ?
"it's hard to say
- why me ,doc?
- Avi, you were born this way...
"avi, I'm sorry but i can't stay"
- i know , just go away
"i wish you could change"
-I'm comfortable in strange
"you don't have to be this way"
- but that's all who i am today..
Take me away and bring back my remains,
Standing on the other side won't make the winds change
It'll all be as it was and I'll be lost,
Burning me won't fade my name
Hurt me with your lies,
And **** me with your truth
If i had a chance to be happy
Trust me, i would
But there's no hope,
I can't live in lies
This is all who i am ,
And i don't even know why
Maybe I'll learn to pretend,
Maybe I'll die
But no matter what happens,
I know there'll be no one by my side
" you're at it again , don't you?
You just make a fool of yourself,
Stop showing them your work
Or they'll start making fun of you themselves,
What's the matter, Avi ?
Did my words made you cry ?
Now write a poem about it,
That no one will ever read , oh my!"
I always struggled with words,
They were so hard to come by
And when they finally did,
I froze and couldn't write
But when I did write,
I never stopped to see what they meant ,
I could finally fight my demons,
And I could do it over and over again
I wish I was better,
And could fuse beauty in my lines
But I know i'm ugly
And this world never misses a chance to remind,
That I am not a poet
I am but a kid
That no one will ever take me seriously,
And I'll have to live with it
"avi, do you think they understand?"
-some of them
" do you feel alone?"
-no,i have my pen
"Avi, you have to stop writing so dark"
-why ?
"it's not what they want"
- a lie
"so you think they like it?"
-i don't care
"are you any good?"
-no, but I'm getting there
I speak to you with all my heart,
Oh, let me be, just let me be
If I ever write my heart out for you,
Close your eyes, don't you see
if I ever try to make you understand,
Remember, I am not what I claim
Even if I think I belong somehow,
I know, you and me are not the same
I am but a kid, one sad sad kid...
Bleed away and sleep away,
All your nightmares, dream away
Oh child, step down
From your bed of thorns, walk away...
As personal as i can be