Suman Saha

Jul 2018

The Girl Who Loves You

Lust

I don't want you to say you love me because I only want the truth
I don't want you to say you can't live without me because that's too much to lose
I'd like you to say you want me, desire me, even after all the things I've been through
Because in reality, that's all I really need from you
I can live without the love unless it's really the truth
You can live without me, I'm not much to lose
But desire, want, need...  To touch, to feel, to taste...  That would make my day,
Not being desired, well..  It makes me wanna waste away
Although I think I love you, never knowing your touch...
To actually never feel your skin, might just be too much
I don't need love, honestly... I'm not worth it anyways
But if I knew you desired me, intimately, it would get me through my days.
Lust on fingertips is better than love from lying lips

#love #want #desire #need #lust #you #me #*** #intimate #nosexforsolongisgettingtome

Suman Saha Mar 2018

About my Love!

And I will tell you about my love.
Only when you had loved!
Do you ever just loved someone?
Only one!
And when I say love, what do you mean?
Paradise? No!
I say love, I don't mean when you want to hold his hand intertwine your fingers, and never let go until you have to do something from your own body!
Or when hands become rough and sweats because you worked hard in sculpting each other's faces in your memories.
It means slowly leaving her hand and letting her go when the guard comes to you angrily, and you think I cannot understand your leaving!
It means you choose to be with him every single day; and the day can be good or bad you don't care because a day means spending your last seconds being with him and that single fact makes everything bearable and fine.
It means to write down your infinite feelings on a piece of paper, you find lying in the corner of your bed? Yes!
It means you choose to go out with him and spread your arms because you think that time should be spent on people who are worthy to share your life with, maybe for an hour, for a day, for a week or just for one and half month, and he is one of those people for you.
Love means you choose to support him, despite the failure and success, because you have a clear understanding of who you love and it's him, not his possessions.
It means running out of words to explain just how much you make me ache inside. So no, I don't think I just love someone. It is beyond, and forgive me for not having to encompass my lack of words.
Does it means to lie about yourself?
Your feelings?
Your pain?
Your health?
Your grief?
We did
I do.

Suman Saha Mar 2018

Where do we go on now!

Comparing yourself and your journey may be habitual, but it gets you nowhere. It always finds a corner to cover your past and come back to you again with ringing bells and ****** on country pleasured, childishly?
If I told you,
18 years ago,
I didn't quite know how to raise my back,
Would you give your hand for a support?
If I told you,
16 years back,
I didn't quite know how to say hello,
Will you let me say hello again?
If I told you,
14 years ago,
I know I ****** at the hot sack races,
Will you play with me again?
If I told you,
I know I was usually slow with the bicycle,
Will you still ride with me?
If I told you,
10 years ago,
I know I splashed around more than I swam in the pool,
Will you still swim with me?
If I told you,
8 years a go,
I got trapped in a berry tree and couldn't rescued myself,
Would you had come for my rescue?
If I told you,
6 years ago,
I didn't quite know how to 'dress up',
Will you still take me out?
If I told you,
4 years ago,
I was an absolute tech noob,
Will you still sit with me on the computer?
If I told you,
2 years ago,
I felt my heart toughening up to feel like a stone,
Will you still pore over my bruises and wounds?
If I told you,
I was an empty ocean,
Would you have filled me up with rainfalls?
If I told you,
I still don't know how to say I Love You,
Will you still let me?

Suman Saha Feb 2018

Mistakes

Mistakes are good
Mistakes had caused me,
being a stolid women
In every moment of peace,
when I look back
I can see my mistakes watching me
Questioning, ready to commit another!
But doesn't wait for any answer
I glance around as if someone,
can hear my thoughts
I look around here and there
There was no one, but
A boy who was blushing,
He says he had something
to ask me,
With a intense breath,
Are you enjoying your mistakes?
Staring at the endless sky
where the stars were still twinkling
Imagining someone's face
with a beautiful smile
I answered, Yes
He smiled at me,
waiting to enjoy his mistakes
I never knew what was over in
his brain,
I asked him to come near me.
I got up to him.
Don't make the same mistakes,
I whisper, don't make my mistakes.

Suman Saha Oct 2017

Alone with a drink

I'm still alone with a drink,
Beneath the stars dancing and twinkling
In the sky
With the moon above me, sharing
Secrets among themselves,
Sharing stories of their journey
Sobbing at each other's fate
Neglecting me,
With a single bottle of whiskey
Which says,
Will you have it straight!
If I would've replied, I have
No feelings left to share my whiskey,
And with that my emotions joined
I'm still alone, and
The night carried it's own pain
With some raw emotions,
And minds driven insane.

Suman Saha Oct 2017

Self contradiction

She was brave
She was strong
She could pass by as fragile,but she wasn't
Her weaknesses were her strengths
She was chaotically radiant
She was awesome, but couldn't judge it herself
She was gorgeous, but couldn't watch it herself
She was determined
But fate snatched her early to the pitying sky
She was modern with a traditional freeze
She was intelligent in business skills
She was mad, madly in something
She was sad, but at times happy and bad
She was fragmented in pieces
Many a times she built it herself,
Her sadness indubitably smelled
She used to keep herself inebriated
She kept everyone indulged in work in a uneventful way,
She was a judgement not to be taken
She felt kaput deep inside
She was a hindi phrase spoken in english
She was lay, not sung
She was once loner, then a lover and again a loner
She used to moan till morning nine
Her moles were proved wrong
But she was still strong,
Her crystal heart was noxious for herself
She was made up of galaxies of passionate energies,
She was left in a paradise with broken angels
Her sensitivity made her both happy and sad,
sometimes it built her up and sometimes destroys
She was hard to handle, but not bad to mingle
She kept her emotions strong at every sense
She was uncommon,
the type that's hard to understand, but so easy to love
She loved intensely, felt deeply, laughed loudly and cried slowly
She doesn't belong to their world
She was a unstable star
She danced along with her art,
She felled back to nothing and yet be reconceived again in full glory
She was simple in her own way
Oh! She was brave
She was strong.

— The End —