I'm looking at my arm tracing the faded scars that are nearly invisible. I thought no one noticed until you pulled me a side grabbed my wrist and told me no more. I teared up and you wiped away my tear and you told me no morevwe sat down and starting talking I felt my cheeks turn red when you said I was pretty I bit my cheek inside I was falling for you but I told myself no more
No more scars
No more tears
No more Insecurities
No more falling in love
Because in the end there is just no more

Please do not cover this day
With a flowery petty coat
Paint brush or brush stroke
Or blow it full of
Silver lining, star dust
Because tragedy is real

Do not diminish our suffering
Or belittle all our pain
By telling us there is meaning
Because I am telling you
God was not on that mountain
peaceful hilltop farmer left anguished
And landscape is vanguished
Family under rubble
Tragedy is real

So tell me then when your
Oppressive boss dragged you
Stole your pride dignity
Shagged your wife destroyed you
And rocks fell on my child
That the lord
Looks after you
Because tragedy is real

Spend a day lifting rocks
dead bodies needless pain
People screaming children wailing
Then tell me there is meaning
That God has a plan
I say he has none
Because tragedy is real

To make sense
Is absolute nonsense
Only callous and cold
And I would not
Be so bold
To insult with any meaning
For unlike a wife
This wound is not leaving
Or ever healing
And can only be left
Raw, ****** and open

Today I looked in the mirror
"who's that girl looking back at me?"
there was a time where I thought I truly knew her
but she's not who she was raised to be
she has a smile on her face
and this look in her eyes
unhidden by God's grace
she wears no disguise
she has no scars
she's make up free
for once in her life she's happy
so don't try to take her joy away
that's a game she's not willing to play
just let her be
**Don't you see that she's happy!?!?!

You call me your Cinderella because of my past
Well you should know that fairy tales don't last
I thought you were my prince but little did I know
That you were just putting on a show
You called me your angel because of my "beautiful" face
But now I realize that I  was just your charity case
Well don't worry about your little princess
I'm no longer the damsel in distress
And now I  know the word love was created for a fairytale that don't live in.

I won't let something silver lead to something red, because I'm tired of this. I'm sick of turning heads due to something on my wrist. I'm tired of being labeled with the right title for the wrong characteristics, yea I'm emo but society's definition for the word is unrealistic. I'm tired of being labeled and stereotyped by people who don't have the facts. I'm tired of being treated differently due to my style. I'm tired of being called an emo freak behind my back. And you wonder why I hardly ever smile. I'm tired of people saying they know me, the ones who say I'm strong because they never see me cry. But if they would take a closer look at reality they would realize that what they say they know is a lie. Because in reality I'm that girl that no one notices. Always getting looked over, the one you would walk right past. And if you do notice me the first thing you do is ask if I am okay. You ask the same question, you get the same answer. It's the same conversation every day. Yet you ask me again I guess your just making sure. So we start again.

Are you okay?
                                                                                              I'm fine.
That's it I will make you happy today!
                                                                    I think that choice is mine.
You look upset....
                                                                                 I'm tired that's all.
You should get some rest.

                              (but today our little "talk" took a fall)
                                                not what I meant not sleepy or worn out
You said you were tired, tired of what?
                  I don't know people, life, ever thing makes me want to shout!
Let me see your arm, tell me there isn't a fresh cut.
                              there isn't no I'm through, with the way my system is   wired I cant deal with you get this in your head im fine im tired

I've been looking for an escape for 3810 days still there's no way out. Once you're in, you're in. Don't even try to shout. That's when time stops and all eyes are on you. The crowd draws closer to you and closer to you, until you can't breathe. They will mound it on your chest, stich it in your heart, burn it into your mind. Your label Your creed. Mine is still undetermined. There's too many flaws to choose from, but trapped is the most popular one. I am trapped in an invisible straight jacket due to my wild imagination. I am trapped, forced to listen to lies. I am trapped in a bubble of isolation. I refuse to listen to the lies I was told in the world I lived in at age four, where the biggest let down was if I didn't get a cookie. There was no such thing as war, but that world was taken from me, just as I was taken from them. Now I'm trapped in a world where no one listens. No one will listen to me, when I got trapped here I was that idiot who shouted and now they think I'm crazy. Well I'm not!....Okay, okay, okay, a little insane maybe. Yet it makes me stronger. It's my tool to survive even longer, longer than I should have to live. They keep me trapped here because apparently I have so much love to give, but I will give and I will give until I run out. Then go back to stage one... Try not to shout. But until then I'm trapped in a world where pretty seems better, in a world where heterosexual is the norm. I'm trapped in a world where my heart has been shattered, stomped on, and torn. Here.... it's here out of all places in the universe, it's here that I am **TRAPPED

KJ isn't cute
KJ isn't neat
KJ isn't who you'd think
KJ isn't smart
Her feelings aren't near concrete
She hates her self every second of the day
But this no one can see
Yet people throw complaints and shame her way
And feed her with 14 years of shame
KJ wants to be back in the shadows
Wear playing with her emotions isn't a game
KJ wants to go home
In her room to be alone
The voices in her head say this is where her personality is best shown
As you can see KJ isn't who she wants to be
But she's there for you to see
So just face reality