Somebody Nobody

Somebody Nobody Oct 2017

I'm lonely.
I'll admit that.

When I was in school,
I noticed that everyone had a friend with them.

That's when the feeling hit me,
I was alone.

I have friends,
but they'd pick someone else other than me
if given the chance.

I know that I should be sad,
that I should be asking for friends,
that I should be needy.

But that's not who I am.
If I've made it this far without anyone constantly there for me,
who's to say I need one now?

I've been alone,
and I might always be.
But honestly, I have no problem with that.

Let them talk,
let them judge!
It doesn't matter unless I let it matter.

I know I should be crying,
that I should feel an emptiness,
but I don't.
And I won't.

Somebody Nobody Oct 2017

A seductress named suicide

She's here again.
Everywhere I go,
I can see her.

She's batting her lashes at me.
Her lipstick gleams in the light.
Her dress is ever so tight.

Everyday it gets harder to resist her,to control my urges.
She knows how bad it's been.
Her eyes bore holes in my soul.

Every time I think about who I truly am,
she rears her pretty head around the corner.
She smiles, and waits ever so patiently for me to give in.
She wants me to go with her.
If I go, I'll never come back.

Today was a bad day.
She knows this,
and she waits to pounce on me.
I have nothing to return to,
no one is chaining me down.
I have no one to disappoint.

I hate to admit it,
but she's so tempting to leave with.
She'll solve my problems sealed with a kiss.
As much as I want to stay,
I can't.
Her powers of temptation are too strong.
I think I'm about to give in.

Somebody Nobody Oct 2017

I believe I just answered my own question

What do true friends do?

Do they talk to you daily?

Do they care about you?

Are they always there for you?

Are they always willing to help you?

Now, I can't say those for sure,
but I'm willing to bet that that's what true friends do.

My "friends", you see are willing to leave me at the drop of a hat.
And we'll leave that topic as that.

I apologize if this poem was pretty ******.

Somebody Nobody Oct 2017

Make your choice.

Where can I escape?

Where can I go to hide from the world?

For the world is an evil place,

and you can't tell me I'm wrong.

The world outside is unsafe,

with people running rampant

and killing each other left and right,

I don't want to go outside.

But as I look outside,

a small flower of hope blossoms.

There's so much good in the world,

but it's shadowed by too much bad.

You'll hear about horrible things that happened,

atrocious crimes that were committed.

But you'll also hear about beautiful things that came from someone,

and a large symphony of good deeds.

Life is a book,

sometimes of heroes and villains.

So I ask of you today,

who do you choose to be?

Oct 2017

h m w

Happy Little Pill.

He smiled at me and said 'here, take this'

It was a happy little pill of his and it would feel bliss

I smiled and gave him a kiss saying, 'thank you baby'

But what happened next forever will drive me crazy

Next thing you know I was spinning in my head

Then he wanted to bring me to a bed

His friends walked in and wanted more

So they all called me a ‘***** little *****’

My body was numb and I couldn’t move

I let out a scream but they didn’t approve

Everything went black but then again I woke

But to them it was nothing but a funny little joke

They locked me inside of a walk in closet

So if there was a stir I sure wouldn’t cause it

I blacked out again and woke in a different place

Treating me as if my soul were missing and my body were a case

Still I was unable to move nor speak

But he still said he loved me and kissed me on the cheek

I counted five inhumane beings on top of me moaning

One was even playfully groaning

I was disgusted and wanted it to end

But I knew that after this my mind would never mend

By now it would have been a little past three in the morning

Earlier I should have taken that adorable face as a warning

When they realized I was sobering up

They had an alibi saying they’d call this a hookup

When I could finally move my mouth again

I realized what had happened and felt heavy chest pain

They heard that I was muttering words that were incomprehensible

They saw me as nothing more than a body and that I was dispensable

They came up with a plan to hide my body in a ditch

I even heard one say, 'she deserved it, what a stupid *****'

I hit my head when they threw me on the ground

I only saw black in front of me and around

I woke up to a woman asking if I were okay

I only said one phrase and it was that 'I was betrayed'

What happened after that is irrelevant at best

All I will say is that I was nothing but stressed

This is my story and it happened two years ago today

Nailing an image in my mind that I was a targeted prey

I know now that I hold so much more worth

And I love myself more than anything on this Earth

Just know that these words have come straight from my heart

No matter how vile and disgusting this memory is, I can never restart

So I tried to make it a poem so it seems like some kind of art.

h.m.w

I am a ****** assault victim and I never received justice.

#**** #sexualassault #assault #suicide #fighting #brave #****** #rapists #roofied #pills

Somebody Nobody Oct 2017

The Story of a Temporary Champion

I used to think that romantic heart break poems
were an overused cliche.

I never sympathized,
for I had never felt any spark.

I felt that people would get over it,
that it surely couldn't be that bad.

I was wrong.

It was the first time I'd felt a spark,
something that filled me up with a warm feeling.

Something that I could actually feel.

I felt victorious,
I felt like a champion.

Being around them just filled me up,
just enough to keep the spark going with me.

I didn't think that mixed signals were real,
that people just didn't see the real meaning.

That I admit I was wrong again.

They gave me mixed signals,
one day they'd adore me,
the other they'd just ignore me like trash on the sidewalk.

I wasn't sure what to feel.

So now I make my decision.

I give up.

Somebody Nobody Sep 2017

How far have I fallen?

I need someone to talk to,
to depend on.

I am the person who is depended on,
a sturdy post behind everyone.

Everyone leans on me,
but I never get anything in return.

I didn't mind for a while.

But now things are getting lonely.

Everyone has someone
but me.

I'm alone.

For the longest time,
I didn't mind, nor care.

I was fine.

But now, I can't stand to be alone any longer.

How far have I fallen?