I don’t share often because my walls are so high up
I fear that if I bring someone too close they’ll stab my sensitive heart
Trust is a delicate thing
Something my heart thinks irrelevant
If you ask me if im loveable I’ll tell you “I hope so”
My mind says no
But my heart screams against the metal bars that “My love will come down like a Tsunami, just please don’t leave me”
I’m begging you to stay
Don’t be another person who will walk away
I want to love someone who will at least look my way
I tell someone I like them and they say “I like you too”
What a fucken liar
You decided to leave me anyways
I fear to utter the words again
To either be rejected or played
So I’m looking at you and thinking will you do the same?

Get out of my head
The voices are getting louder
Please I’m begging
There is nowhere to hide your sorrow
Your words bring horror
Don’t forget the promise you failed to honor
The months are becoming b̴l̴u̴r̴s̴, And this voice won’t shut the **** up!
I need to scream,
Tears are streaming
You are nothing but rage
Stuck in this tiny cage
And you’re standing            alone             on stage
My heart is in pain
My mother turns a blind eye
My father said good-bye
It’s a spiral of thoughts in my head
Every action, word, and thought are mine
Locked with chains
The wounds remains
Please just relieve me of this pain
Time is constantly t..i..c..k..i..n..g
But i'm sitting here thinking about quitting



“Are you done?..With your little fucken weird depresso writing?” They think I'm going crazy. They stare at me with pity and fear in their eyes. By god it's like the 1920s with how many people die like flies. It’s not like I’m eating my dead sister’s corpse again. Mother and Father said I was crazy then. Oh they haven’t seen my roommate, who I call the Mad Hatter and she calls me the Cheshire cat. Unfortunately she kinda went splat. Last week. Week. What a funny word. Yesterday they told us a story of a sentient machine. A machine that from hell looked at heaven. Based. SGVscA== . That’s based. blur. Blurred. We know what you whisper. WE. we. W E. there is no WE number 64.
THEY should really get the adults in check. Group time is quite a wreck.
7 15 20. **** i hate writing in pen ya know. Sometimes letters and numbers leave me confused.
US. painting the walls. Wait. they got us painting ya know. I don’t like how it sticks to my hand and is hard to wash off. The paint. Now Emmy is quite a saint. She just loves EATING cow’s meat. She’s in here for accidentally eating it raw. Her parents just didn’t want her anymore, blah. It’s a shame. She’s actually such a sweet thing.
Eva Choked and died. i legit cried.
lArry Hates. must be the old man syndrome.
OTHER people are just bait.
HERE . I now live here. “WRITING TIME IS OVER! DINNER TIME !”

ONE.
Dawn is cracking
The sirens are alarmingly loud
The earth is breaking
And all I can hear are the sounds
The drums are thudding like thundering ₚₒᵤₙdₛ
This is more than a fight
I stand here in war paint
Mi sangre grabada en la tierra

TWO.
I can’t remember my great grandmother’s face
I'm rewatching my ancestor’s fates.
The crown across the sea celebrating with their new shiny golden gates
My gushing red veins are open for the world to take
They harvest my organs and bones for the materials they love
Extraction and abreaction
They hate the color of our flesh, but give them 2 blood splatters and couldn't tell you the difference

THREE.
Like nomads they move across nations to find a place to call home.
Only to step on their brother's lands who have suffered as much as your people have.
Yet you have no culture to remember.
You step on this land that carries the blood of their people.
Books fill your head with missing history
This land is sacred
This land is theirs

FOUR.
My father’s name is erased
My mothers blood can’t tolerate
The fields are burning their backs
There is no where they can be safe

FIVE.
They left home
Only to be beaten to the core
I hear my ancestors yelling to endure some more
I have my grandparents to thank
I’m here somewhat safe

FIVE…
FIVE HUNDRED THIRTY-ONE
Dios te salve, Maria
Llena eres de grac—
Enough.
No god saved my people from the plagues and death the colonizers brought
No divine intervention to prevent children taken to missions
There was no salvation for our indigenous culture wiped from history
I can only wish for latino-futurism
Where the trees still sway and our beaches are still ours
Where we weren't turned into slaves and our temples maintained their power
But that dream only exist in stories

FIVE HUNDRED THIRTY-TWO.
The euro-centric are in power
But they forget that OUR people built their towers
Looking from their ivory towers
Dictating who holds power

FIVE HUNDRED THIRTY-THREE.
Census day is a ******* pain
   I am not white
      I am not indigenous
But forced to pick white knowing we’re not the same
Don’t you dare tell me that you feel shame
You don’t take the blame of being a colonizer, you European ******* beldame
This is all just a card game and none of us are ever winning this rigged game.

Sincerely,
YOUR Illegal alien

Y yo se Que no me vas a comprehender
Pero como te digo que te amo
Los días pasan y—
“Oh hey! Yeah ofc this seats open”
Tus ojos tan perfectos
“I didn’t expect to see you…since you’re always busy”
¿Pensaste en mi?
“You’re such a caring friend, you really didn’t have too”
I like you…where I wanna tell you
Pero Nunca vas a saber
Tantas horas pensando que existe la posibilidad de que me ames
But you’re just a friend
“Let me get snack, you want anything?”
“You don’t have to “
Pero haré cualquier cosa para ti
“Mari.”
“Hm?”
“What did you say”
“Oh nothing, just ok”
“But you said you’ll do anything for me…so tell me.”
Frozen in time, for once I’m at lost for words, ironic
“Since when…?”
“Since you started hanging out with that hockey girl again.”
Sonrisa tan Bonita
SÍ, te voy a decir que te amo
y tal vez no me quedó tan solita

The night is still young
Screaming at the top of my lungs
Watching you sing the lyrics of our favorite song

Not a moment wasted
Take it in
It might be our last night out
HA don’t start to pout!

I’m leaving tomorrow
It doesn’t matter
Time is moving slow
So don’t feel so shattered

Everytime you miss me
Visit the old birch tree
The stars are always so bright

My Promise to you?
Strive to start a life

turn it up!
It’s my favorite part!
“Made it out alive, but I think I lost it—
Said that I was fine, I said it from the coffin!”

It was our last late night drive since we were 25

The way I could admire your beauty for centuries
Breathless
I walk through the marble halls where echoes play,
With each arches high and domes that rise
A beautiful vision sculpted beneath the skies

Columns stand with perfect grace
Watching the gold lining interlace
Each curve and line, a story told
Of ancient forms in marble bold

The brush of you paint the walls
Where knowledge blooms and beauty calls
I find myself in love
With angels looking from above

Shall you never go to waste
Fine art forever encased
My love, you bless me with your grace
Truly a genius ace

I don’t share often because my walls are so high up
I fear that if I bring someone too close they’ll stab my sensitive heart
Trust is a delicate thing
Something my heart thinks irrelevant
If you ask me if im loveable I’ll tell you “I hope so”
My mind says no
But my heart screams against the metal bars that “My love will come down like a Tsunami, just please don’t leave me”
I’m begging you to stay
Don’t be another person who will walk away
I want to love someone who will at least look my way
I tell someone I like them and they say “I like you too”
What a fucken liar
You decided to leave me anyways
I fear to utter the words again
To either be rejected or played
So I’m looking at you and thinking will you do the same?