A'ishah

Feb 2018

Patricia Policarpio

worth

i was looking for my worth
so i looked all around me to find it
i looked at myself and find nothing

i looked behind me, the dark past of failures and pain
i looked at myself to find an empty heart from the past, i gained

i looked forward, a blurry and foggy future awaits
i looked at myself to find myself standing on a quicksand, im stucked and sinking in the present

i looked beside me, people are there but distant from me
i looked at myself to find hands that are nasty, *****, that's why no one would hold me.

so i looked down
bend my knees on the ground

i looked up the sky
hold my breath and cry

as i see you there
with arms reaching out
with eyes without a tinge of doubt.

You gave me a new heart
and filled it with your love.

You made my hands clean
and grabbed it tight as if saying "im here".

You pulled my feet that were stucked
and help me move forward to the future you've planned.

You welcomed me in you arms
gave me a warm embrace
wiped my tears til it left no trace

then you whispered in my ear
and loving said
"My daughter,
you are and
will always be loved
You have been
and will always be
precious in my sight"

I am empty. I am a failure. I can achieve nothing. I am unloved. I am worthless.

But not anymore

For I am loved, saved by his grace. I am given a hope and a future.
I am precious before God.

And so are you.

"You are precious in my eyes," God says, "and I love you" (Isaiah 43:4a).

February 3, 2018

#love #heart #worth #precious

Feb 2018

Catrina

Mirror

I don’t really know

Where I need to go.

And I don’t really care.

I know that life isn’t always fair,

So what we all need to do,

Is live in the moment,

While it can last.

It’s been years since I first put it on,

but I think I’m finally ready to take off

This *****, Old, and Hard cast.

All I know for sure,

is that I am here.

Right now.

I am here, and I am here right now.

Even though you have been gone for some time,

And your still not here,

I’m alright with that.

If I ever want to see you,

All I have to do, is look in the

Mirror.

I see you in my eyes,

Your Blue, mixing with my Green,

To make a Sea.

I see you in my hair.

Your unruly and wild curls,

Are slowly over taking my box*-brown hair.

I see you, when I look over myself,

Your beauty, passed onto me.

I have your curves and your looks.

You’re closer to me than I thought.

You never left,

Only hidden,

By my own pain.

Not until I discarded my mask,

Did I gain my knowledge.

#depression #acceptance #loss #beauty

A'ishah Feb 2018

Dear, Mother

If I could give you Diamonds for every tear you dropped for me.
If I could give you a kiss for every heartache I caused.
If I could give you sapphires for every truth you helped me see.
You are a beautiful women, who knows how to make anyone day with just a smile.
You'll be a treasure, that would match the sparkles in your kind and loving eyes.
After all, you're the light to my dark world.

~ Aishah

A'ishah Feb 2018

Broken girl

There is this girl that's always in disguise.
Everyone thinks she's the happy girl.
Who smiles, laughs, but really she smiles to hide.
Hide the pain, she fakes a smile and say she's okay, but she barely made it through the day.
She doesn't want to show others, that broken girl.
She want others to see her as this strong, happy person.
If she shows others that she is just a broken girl.
Others will treat her as if she is weak, as if she's fragile.
When all she needs is someone to love her, someone to show her that she isn't just that broken girl that everyone sees, but something more.