Beat.
Break.
Smile.
Fake.
Breathe.
Gasp.
Sing.
Rasp.
Give.
Ache.
Hug.
­Quake.
Day in,
Day out
She hides,
She'll pout.
She sobs,
I cry.
She threatens,
You die.
Swirling colors slash and dazzle
Black. White. Gray.
Scarlet letters fill my vision
Go.A.way!
“Leave me here to die alone,
I'll be better on my own.
You can't help”
But “You're to blame!”
“We're only worried”
“What's your name?”
“Not my friend, I don't care”
“She likes to make things up, I swear!”
“I'm invisible it's true”
“I'm this way because of you.”
“You haven't tried quite hard enough”
“I don't want you or your worthless love.”
“I'll never abandon you, my Dear”
Then tell me, Love, why you're not here?

Shove all the books inside my pack,
Shoulder the weight resting on my back.
But the heaviest thing, more than 35 pounds
Are the broken smiles and the secret frowns
That I'm forced to carry while I make my rounds.
The scars get deeper and new ones form.
Sometimes I wish that I'd never been born.
It's a heavy burden that I've tried to give away,
But nobody wants it, so mine it'll stay.
I would trade my soul for a few sweet words,
But so swiftly they disappear like judgmental birds
Always tweeting and beating at my self-respect,
Because I haven't gotten over all the cruel ones yet.
You'll never see the depth of my insecurity;
All the broken little pieces that make up a broken me.

I'm drowning again,
Lost in the sea's mighty swell:
A sea of failure.

I'm falling again,
Facing the steepest slow drop:
A fall from safety.

I'm burning again,
Melting in the inferno:
A fire of terror.

I'm sinking again,
Struggling through deep quicksand:
Depression takes me.