I was told by A"shrink"LAST month that I had Hypermania because I talk faster than the average Joe or Jane. I said, you know, some people read faster than average too. People speak at a speed they are comfortable with. If they don't want to make mistakes during speaking, they tend to speak at the speed they read at or maybe a bit slower. I on the other hand happen to speak fluent gibberish, because I am a virtual speed-reader of *******, so I have a go at it comfortably. Just joking, I don't read *******. I will admit I should slow down when doing a Poetry Reading though, because you shouldn't rush through such. It's kind of like hauling *** on a motorcycle on the scenic route while on a weekend cruise to relax. Anyway, to top off this he claimed another qualifier for my Hypermania was that in my writing to him I was in such a hurry that I "accidentally" wrote abstruse when I obviously wanted to write abstract. I said, "Nooo, I meant to write abstruse." It is a word. It just so happens that one of the definitions of abstract is abstruse -ha ha. But he didn't know that until I told him. Abstruse- Difficult to understand. It's a word, Doc. Ha ha, WordDoc.

You told me you thought I had an extensive vocabulary in the first 5 minutes of meeting with me, so why would you assume it more likely that I ******* up so grossly on a word, than consider the possibility of a word existing without having crossed your eyes or ears? Lol You got a picture in your head of his eyes crossed, didn't you? Me too. ;)

But yeah, I was  "hypomanic" during the observation. Shhh... Even a broken clock is right twice daily.

Therapy session going well,
I speak but only do half tell
Cause folks don't understand
Because they never half-felt
What I lock away -understand?

No.

They don't understand half so well
What is meant when eyes so swell
& a voice cracks -Folks, understand,
That you obviously never half-felt
So you don't quite fully understand.

Therefore I will tell all all, but I will
Bet you dollars to doughnuts, they still
Won't ... freaking... ahh!!! understand.

Searching for something to fill me up
Looking for answers in the bottom of a cup
Existential crisis, need some advice
Unfortunately reality is never that nice

There is a boy in my past who went to bed
and learned to play with the fairies of his dreams.
He came to know there was always an escape,
but never seemed to need one.
“Go off and play with the fairies,”
his mother told him,
“they miss you.”

There is a boy in my past who woke up
with fairies beating their wings
against the insides of his conscience,
leaving soft marks on his mind.
There has never since been a feeling
so transcendent.

There is a boy in my past who went to bed
and lay awake, remembering the feeling of magic.
More and more, he was unable to find that place,
but never stopped trying.

That boy no longer understands
what it means to escape this colorless reality.
He does not understand the sweet taste
of freedom or the rush of passion.

Those fairies meant more to him
than just cheap, dreamy thrills.
They were the embodiment of all good things
and the teachers of all human emotion.
It was from them that the boy learned
to perceive life with a colored perspective
instead of the monochrome expectation.
It was from them that he realized
his own personal definition
of a meaningful existence.

There is a boy in my present
who longs for how things used to be.
His mother no longer allows him
to visit with the fairies.
Sometimes he wishes
that she would.

By living simple
Nobody has ever lost his stardom

There is nothing more hollow than the sound of fate.


We used to drink coolers in the sunlight and beam at the current state of the world;
Crystallized visions warped in everlasting time,
we dreamed.
We were unbothered, but unhinged without realization,
But we loved it anyways.
A remaining 24 hour cycle- a day by day opening first act
We stood amongst our choices and applauded.

-

All she wants is a late night whisper of confirmation.
All she wants is everyone to see her glamorous, shooting star
personality;
Make them think, under her belief,
that she was anything special.

Grappling for a sense of hope and help and laughter
A glimpse into this near-distant future
Screaming for a change in the past.
Its all left unheard and she aims for the sun-
She lands amongst the tides and sinks under.

She lays her head on her satin red pillows and cries a song no one will hear, no one cares to open their ears.



And in the morning you find her face down.

-

They call me the green dragon because I'm puffing smoke,
Filling the surrounding rooms and destroying everyone I know.
I don't know where I'm coming from and where my mind has seemed to go but
I hold dearly these emotions arising
And I can't stop this swelling in my chest;
What comes after this?

I am transported into this space of celestial fluid that consumes my thoughts
The dark matter, the voices you can't seem to find, nor grab
They disappear like a photograph over a slow burning candle,
Fading off like smoke into the air,
Nothing.

They were always something. And now they stay lingering,
Infused into this space and you are treading water
Your head almost under.

We slip into this sleepless coma, this eternal unfamiliarity of the future
Dark as night, mute noise, no one present
Your eyes slip back and remember, remind yourself of what you lost
Face the actions you've created, you've sought out
Drown.

I whisper through the tears and say I'm not the only one,
I'm not the only one,
And somewhere soon we'll meet again and drown the sun.

Some lost love, a forbidden thought,
I am apologetic but I must be leaving
And soon one day I hope to see

That things will remain what they seem.

-its a cycle of life

conceptcollection

Don't be sad
Life is just
Death's coping mechanism.
Maybe someday
He'll find another way
And we'll never get lost again.