I always seem
to be on the edge
sharp blade,
shard of glass,
cliff's ledge.

There's no place
to grab on
no path or foothold
should I choose
to make any move,
to be so bold.

Edges
are an odd thing
one can
plummet wildly
or spread
your wings.

I close my eyes
and feel the choice
am I in danger?
am I overjoyed?
Hanging haphazardly?
Or delicately poised.

The amount of balance
is mine to determine
am I teetering on disaster?
or leaning forward to fly?
One things for certain
I won't know unless I try.

lavender ribbons
from your hair
lay against
the pages
I love to read
so much
and as I turned
the pages
the smell
of your hair
makes me
love the words
even more
as I envision
our last touch.
Such was ours a
bittersweet
journey
which was so
impossible
for me to
disembark
because my darling
for me you were
a romance story
but for you I wasn't
even a bookmark.

The moon is a master of deception
(not unlike the sparkle in her eyes)
hiding that which would be shown
in plain sight wrapped in
dim glowing hues of night.

The moon is a master of illusion
not nearly as bright as the sun and
wrapped in vague promises of truth
I loved it as I have loved her
a lifetime from my youth.

The moon is a master of mystery
hidden things reside within it's glow
hounds of war bay at it out of fear
of upcoming doom unknown.

But I say, dear moon, if you must
do please deceive me so
because you, and the sparkle
in her eyes forever bid me not to go.

Zeus,
A God,
A King,
An Aries,
"The Green Man".
Head over Heart
is only
part of the plan.

Calling out
For us all
to step into our
Power and Authority
Not Ego and Superiority

Protecting the people
they serve
With a fierceness
that doesn't
bend or swerve.

The
Yang of the Yin
Encouraging Balance,
Control and Affection,
from without and within.

You won't find
these traits in
cowardice
hatred
or blame
in Fortune
or Fame

On the contrary,
The Emperor
is Encouraging
Us All to see
there is true
Power in being
the best we can
BE

You loved me
You touched me
You inspired me
You hurt me
I bled ink for you
Drops on paper
Pain personified
Even so
I invited you in
My muse
And I would do it again

My Anxiety is a lion with a mane of barbed wire
and claws made of rusty nails. It is always around
when I try and fail.

My anxiety is a full, week old garbage bin. It stinks
when it's around and stops me from succeeding
again and again.

My anxiety is a blanket someone took off my bed,
threw in the floor and didn't fold. It keeps me
from being proactive courageous and bold.

My anxiety is a choke-hold under water with my
friends waving goodbye from the shore, I try to
swim but sink into the boggy moor.

My anxiety is a pirate ship sailing on the water and
I've got a target on my back making me perfect
cannon fodder.

My anxiety is a demon that haunts me day and night,
I hope and pray someday I will finally be alright.

The Moon lights the path in the sand where
you walked. Water fills those footprints like
sand filled cups. I could drink from those sole
shaped sandy prints knowing you once stood and
created those indents.

I watch the waves dance against your legs
as your smile stretches as wide is the beach
I try to pull you to me like a life raft
But your beauty is too out of reach.

The water is crisp and cool to touch
As it caresses every grain of sand
You skirt swirls as you dance among the waves
it's clear that it's you the land craves.

I'm on the edge
so ready to fall forward
dump my body into the ocean
drowning yet not fighting
the currents motion.

Day to day life is chaotic
so many people who
push and pull me,
lie to me and fool me

I want to release it all
and jump off this carousel
living this way, as I do,
is hard as hell.

Inside I am broken
full of pain from youth
I feel I'm at a crossroad
where there's no left or right,
no honesty or truth.

The doctor says I am
just depressed is all
"Take two Zoloft and
if needed, in the morning,
give me a call."

I doubt a pill will cure me
when I no longer care to
reside in my own skin
I want to get away from
this dopamine hungry beast within

There's no more thrills
to be found
since she left me all alone
I'm a stranger in my own body
nothing feels like home.

People like me die all the time
what does it matter if I jump
or suffer to a ripe old age
the story is always the same
from page to page.

the sights and sounds
where the nightlife abounds
a thousand people screaming
"just one more round!"

the drunks, the punks
the pushers and their drugs
the crooks and the thugs
all part of the nightlife
they all creep out after twilight.

All of this when the city sleeps
with the crime and the grime
it's enough to make you weep as
you wade through it knee deep.

but like a promise morning
always comes, the sun shines
flowers bloom and children play
because in the city it's just
another day.

I create. And it's more than just
words that rhyme, if I could I'd
write all the time.

I can make words fly or crawl
or dance, Be the Romeo in a story
of my own romance.

I build ships that sail the ocean
or fly up to the moon. I  can help you
feel the wind or help you hear
the greeting of the loons.

I create. And it's more than just
words that rhyme, if I could I'd
write all the time.

my constant
companion
from day to day.
You might think
it does but
it never really
goes away.
It gets quieter,
It gets slower,
but eventually
it will always
come rushing back
like the sea
crashing into
the shore.
I have to ask
myself
are happy endings
merely folk lore?

I close my eyes
and remember.
my face wet with
salty tears
that sting.
Grief
Loss
I find myself wishing
memories of you and I
would make me smile
not cry with the
happiness it would
bring.

The simple truth
is I miss us,
you and me
the walks in the park
the laughter,
the children playing.
Yes, our times
together
always made me
feel so free.

I took one look
and my breath
left my body
you were mesmerizing
in your little black dress
I felt my head actually swoon
when I saw you dancing under the moon.
You didn't see me looking at you
I was relieved of that fact
had you noticed me staring
I wouldn't have known
how to act.
When you twirled
the light caught the blue hem
imagine my surprised that
it twinkled like stars
mirroring your eyes.
No other woman
matched your perfection
your smile, those lips
and that perfect complexion.
The wedding was beautiful
but all that aside
I'll share with you a secret:
you were more radiant
than even the bride.

You are golden sand
I try to hold you in my hand
but you slip away
through clasped fingers,
but after you go
the feeling always lingers.

You are warm sunshine
I feel you touch me
and warm me so
But night always comes
and you always go.

You are a raging river
Your currents run so deep
When I ride your waves
I feel the pulse of your flow
so intensely I could weep.

Your are a clock upon the wall
your hands tell the time
I want to stop
and live in this moment
making you forever mine.

Always it's you
Beneath my skin
Catching my breath
Detouring my mind
Even when I try to
Fight impulses I still
Give in to you
Happily because
I love you and not
Just your **** smile
Keeps me entranced
Lord no! There's much
More about you!
Nonstop wit and
Overflowing charm
Power wielded over me
Quickly disarming
Really any and all
Sense of personal
Trepidation my soul may
Undertake in a final
Valiant effort to try to
Weakly resist your
Xenial nurturing way
You still pull me in
Zapping my last bit of will

I'm fighting
Sleep
Struggling
against it
tugging at me
trying to kidnap
my mind
unless maybe
I could dream of her
That would
make it easier
for me to give in
close my eyes
and let it
take me
unconscious
far a
       w
         a  
          y

with each word I say to you
I feel myself being taken
down by the undertow
below the boggy mire
as I struggled to say
just the right thing
I find myself sinking
trapped knowing inevitably
I'm helpless as each word
provides more of a struggle
into the quicksand
of our broken love

You are the story I should write.
I've got pages and pages built up
inside.

I'd start Of course with "Once Upon a
time" I had a girl so very fine, who
I was proud to be able to call mine.

Of course there'd be a chapter with
multiple quips of how great it felt
to kiss your lips.  

I'd illustrate it with an atmosphere
of how it felt to hold you near,
or place my hand upon your thigh,
such a thrill one cannot hide.

With a plot that twisted and turned
the readers would see how my love was
soon spurned.

I'd end with how you said that you
loved me but you lied. Mention all the
times you made me feel so bad I wanted
to die.

On second thought, maybe the story is way
too trite so I'll just put down my pen and
call it a night.

I loved you
but I didn't know
how to show it
I always seem
to blow it.

I loved you
such patience
and trust
but as usual
I was too much.

I loved you
your soft
sweet voice
but I pushed
so hard you really
had no choice.

I loved you
but I didn't
pay attention
to where we
were heading
and it was finally
the straw the
camel was dreading.

I loved you
but I didn't listen
now I'm all alone
and it's you
that I'm missing.

Look at me
body splayed
edges frayed
nerves shot
broken girl
in utter dismay

where's my parade?
my band of trumpets
my banners and balloons
my celebration of me
instead all that i am
is totally strewn

the tarot cards fall
before me
i am the hanged man
powerless,
sacrificed,
tested,
Face against the sky.
nothing left to do
but let out
my painful cries

it was supposed to be
different
marching to my own
drummer
to the rhythm of
my own beat
but I lost it all
when she left
all I can do now is
admit defeat.

They say a picture is worth
1000 words but it's a lie..
Your pictures are all
I have left now
that you're gone..

So from where I'm sitting,
no! From where I am  laying
injured like a deer on the side
of the road.

A picture isn't worth any words
unless that word is regret
written over and over,
and over and over....
God I miss you!!!

The crowd
pushes in on me
from side to side
people I never
wanted to know
preferred to ignore
because there is
only you I am
waiting for.

You were always
the life
of the party
and even though
the musical din
bangs on and on
I hear nothing
I feel nothing
I  am left
all alone.

I keep wishing
these people
would dispurse
because being
surrounded
yet alone
without you
is definitely
the worst.

I want to wrap
loneliness
around me
like a blanket
because
now I see
that you're not
coming
back to me
so
there's only
silence now
there's no more
poetry.

I woke up.
You were there
I was here
But I felt you
My lips against
Your raven hair.

I woke up.
I laid in bed
All alone,
Thoughts of you
Permeate me
To the bone

I woke up.
My body aches
To feel your touch
There's no words
To say the way
I love you so much.

I woke up.
Knowing
I'd be there
With you soon
Just you and me
In your room.

I woke up.
Loving you
The way I do
Every day,
In every way,
Like I do.

You left
and the **** sun
kept shining

You left
and it was
horrible timing

You left
with ice
in your veins

You left
and I went
completely insane

You left
and the days
kept on coming

You left
and I felt
like a dummy

You left
because you stopped
loving me

You left
because you
wanted to be free

You left
and the rain
still came

You left
and the clouds
rolled away

You left
and I didn't
know what to do

You left
there was no
rhyme or reason
no realization
no break through

The days are the worse.
each minute
hardly passing by
slow agony
the clock, my enemy
I am the hanged man
****** stumps
limbs that have become
tree trunks
planted in this bed
eyes boring holes
in the wall
where your picture hangs
loneliness
broken legs that cannot move
unable to flee or fight
just lay in the days dirt
throughout the night.

nights. my only reprieve
waiting, hoping for sleep
to come and capture me
to sleep and dream of us
holding hands in the park
watching the children play
happy again if only
for a moment
you kiss me and I smile
into the beauty that is you
the sun that you are
warming me
is really all
I could ever need.

The day comes again
like a monster
devouring my life
the one
we were supposed to have
should have had
before you disappeared
I lie in this bed
that has become a tomb
covered by the rubble
of what once was.
no sunshine
no laughter
endless time, now spent
without what you said
would be our endless love.

My life is in a never ending spin
lately it seems I just can't win.
I try to crawl out from beneath
the rubble that buries me so deep

My life is a wheel of fortune
I, the bent figure of constant change
my happiness keeps ending to a point
I'm becoming quite deranged.

Endless motion, no choice where it stops
I keep losing the spin that I'm so sad
I could just drop.

I keep thinking it will finally land
on something marvelous or grand
but this old wheel keeps going
round and round and constant
tragedy abounds.

You are my poetry
and every word I know.
I can write sonnets
about how your lips
speak to my soul,
and I always seem to
carry you inside me
wherever I go.

You are my poetry
lyrical caresses
in my mind.
word spoken
and unspoken,
both horrible
and kind.

You are my poetry
hearts and stars
behind my eyes.
loving you so deeply
took me by surprise.

You are my poetry
pentameters,
verbal description
in panoramic
caricatures.

You are my poetry
because words mean
everything.
you warm me
in the summer,
and renew me
in the spring.

You are my poetry.
loose leaf pages
in the wind.
our beginning,
and alas,
until our bitter end.

You are my poetry.
how more may I describe?
You feed me
and nurture me
and make me
feel alive.