I still love you,
even though just seeing you hurts me.
I still love you,
even though you were clear that it was over
I still love you,
even though you never loved me.

addiction steals everything from you.
it takes your life and steals your soul.
my mother no longer see me as her daughter;
she sees me as just an addict.
my friends don’t see me as their own;
they see me as someone who hurt them,
betrayed their trust,
destroyed our friendship.
addiction is no simple thing.
it takes and takes and takes
until you are nothing but an empty shell.
addiction is hell

you don’t know how horrible addiction is
until you have been controlled by it.
you don’t know how easy it is
to completely surrender to
something that will **** you.
you don’t know how despicable it is
until you are at deaths door
because of addiction.

you chose her before i was even an option.
you lied again and again,
saying i was the one for you.
but she is the one you married
and i’m the one left here.
i have so much to say to you,
but you aren’t listening.

I said i was going to get clean weeks ago.
I said that my last sack was my last.
I am stuck in the cycle of addiction.
There is no escape for me unless i want it
And I feel so much better when i’m high
So my journey on this path continues,
Only to be stopped by death or jail.

I used to be in your shoes,
leading people on
making them think they had a chance.
I leave a trail of broken hearts behind me
so maybe this is what i get.
You ripped my heart out and stole the rest.
You ruined me,
But still, I love you.

I keep saying that I’m going to stop using.
I’ve told my therapist and my friends,
but I start to get overwhelmed
and feel the need to relapse.

I make it one,
maybe two days,
before I’m chasing the high,
and ruining my life.

The longest I’ve lasted
was 25 hellish days.
But even after confessing,
I came back to my vice