I will shout your name from the rooftops,
I will tell everyone what you did,
I will share my story to all who listen,
I will remove all power from you,
I will do whatever it takes,
to make you obsolete.
I will do whatever i need,
to make you meaningless

you may have hurt me
but you did not break me
you did not destroy me.
i will always be stronger than you
simply because it’s the truth.
you are nothing
and that is what you will always be.

you told me that you’d be here
forever and always,
but that turned into a lie,
and ended in 7 months and 20 days

you kept me alive when all i wanted to do was die,
but now you’re the one killing me.

I am trying to recover,
recover from the assault,
recover from my addiction,
recover from my trauma,
but everything I do feels like enabling my issues

I started the drugs to numb the pain,
an attempt to forget that almost r*pe.
My life was out of control,
one step away from a rope or pills.
I’ve been destroying myself,
to try to feel like myself.
I’m trying to accept the fact
that i am not yet dead,
that my story did not close on that chapter.
I’m trying to get sober,
trying to be human,
trying to be me,
but all I can see,
are flashbacks of that night.

I am so in love with you.
Anytime i hear your name,
My heart beats a bit faster.
every time i see your face,
my pulse skyrockets.

But i’m not the one you really want.
I see it in your eyes.
When in bed with me,
She clouds your mind.

If i could choose between,
your happiness and mine,
yours would come first anytime.
I’m just not good for you.
And you’re not mine.

When you see her,
your face lights up.
Your eyes shine like stars,
but i will never be her.

My love for you,
outshines my issues.
You can make me smile,
like no other,
but i am still not her.

I’m sorry for my problems.
I’m sorry for my flaws.
If i could pick and choose
There’s no choice to make.

You may be the one for me,
But i do nothing but fill an empty seat.
My body is a placeholder,
for the girl you really want,
And i am not her.