I miss the comfort of being sad. I miss those nights when I would cry every tear I had inside me. I miss the relief I would feel those nights. I miss knowing what to expect when it came down to that ache inside my chest.

you were telling me you loved me
while you were having a child with her
you promised me forever and always
but i was nothing more
than a temporary phase

It’s been exactly one year
since the day that started my downfall.
It’s been exactly one year
since i was broken beyond repair.
It’s been exactly one year
since I lost everything.

i didn’t fear death until i almost died.
i used to welcome its cold grasp.
i used to wish it upon myself.
now all i want to do is live.
i want to feel the sun on my skin.
i want to see my family live and grow.
i want to love again.
i finally want to live after 8 years of pain

you’ll miss them
you’ll think of the good times with them
you’ll try to justify their behavior
you’ll break every time you hear their name
you’ll be constantly looking behind you
you’ll worry that they’ll come after you
you’ll lose trust in those you love
you’ll be broken for a long time
but you’ll eventually get better

I thought we were forever
together til the end.
A story fit for a fairy tale
but you were the dragon
and I was the princess locked in a tower.
You took away my friends and family
made me dependent on a drug.
Always and forever?
We didn’t even last to September.

I can tell I’m getting sad again,
because the words just won’t stop flowing.
I can tell I’m getting bad again,
because I can’t go a day without seeing your face.
I can tell I’m spiraling again,
because all I think about is relapse.
I can tell I’m falling again,
because my days are filled with fog.