The more time I spent with you,
the more addictive I became
and the more I needed you every day.

Being away from you gave me withdrawl.
The more I put you into my head,
the more dependent I became on you.

I didn't love you.
I don't think.
It was the idea that you made me feel safe
and helped me escape my own thoughts

I loved the idea of you
The idea of happiness
of a good, impossible thing.

And now that you are becoming
more and more distant
My mind is too.

Living for the future
to once live without a care,
it's a complicated suture
when you might not make it there.

I pray that you find strength
even on the darkest of days
even when there's nothing left to hold onto
even when your world is falling apart
i pray that you continue to find hope
to find joy
in the little things
that bring you peace.

Seriously?
just pour me
a  different
life.