you know,
i have this pen
that i borrowed from somebody,
i don't even remember who it was,
but i kept it,
i still have it,
because i knew that's the pen that you liked
that exact brand,
the same model,
the same ink,
i couldn't get rid of it,
even after the ink ran out,
i kept this stupid meaningless pen,
the one without purpose,
just like i kept these feelings,
i'll keep holding onto them for you
in case you come back
and you need them
like you'd need your favorite pen

Wish I was a little more present
Wish I was a little more kind
Wish my brain didn’t move so fast
Wish you weren’t on my mind

i spent my life trying to please
someone with a twisted disease
i broke myself down
and tucked my feelings away
to become the person
they wanted me to be
i let myself be watched
through the glass of a two sided mirror
of a sociopath
i wallowed my spirit away
and begged for acceptance
but there’s nothing in the world
that i could do
to let the narcissist know
that i am human too

may the stars be ever in your favor
endless possibilities
guide you in your endeavours

maybe she already knew
but at least, i didn't told her
that the universe is still in motion
the moment she foreshadowed
my days in undying agony—
living a life without every bit of her soul
in every corner of space
and into the darkest voids of time.

What is special?
When someone says
You’re not that special
That others have more value
Than you
But what is it to compare
People to people
Relationship to relationship
As we are all unique unto ourselves
No one is the same
So if someone says you’re not special
What are they also saying
About themselves
For how can we judge
A person’s worth
To another
Without being in their skin
We are all unique
Each with our own destiny
Different from another
How can we be anything
But special
For we each are an individual square
On the quilt of humanity
Together making up the whole
That’s special