I was falling. I was falling in love. I was falling so hard that I couldnt tell when the fall would end, because I was falling for the one person who could break my heart with the most biggest amount of pain I could think of. I was falling in love with my bestfriend, the only friend I had in my life, the only person who understood me, the only person who never judged me, the only person who never shouted at me and the only person who accepted me for me. I had started to feel for him, but more then what I was feeling for him lurked the fear of losing him, because it wouldnt be just the heart I will lose to him, I will lose my whole self. He knows every little secret of mine, he knows who I am, he knows what I am, he knows everything and never judges, he's my secret diary, and those are things which are above love, because love can be found but these qualities are even rarer then love. I had the fear of losing him what if I propose and he didnt think that way, what if I proposed and he stops talking to me and never come back, what if he starts to hate me. All these questions stacked up and I curtailed myself from expressing my feeling for I didnt want to lose my bestfriend for love.
I had fallen in love with the only person who could break my whole existence.

I now realize that
my biggest problem is me-
it always has been

11:11 PM
9/5/22

you’ve stolen so much of my soul,
i’m still trying to remember who i was

Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
You
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

It’s the thief if time,
Who won’t let you be mine.
Keeps stealing you away,
For most of every day.

Why do our moments go so fast,
When all I want is them to last.
Must be the thief of time
Who won’t let you be mine.

Happiness is hard
to come by.

People who are real with you
are hard to come by.

Love is hard to come by.
True friendship

is also
hard to come by.

So it messes no sense to me
why good people

get ****** over the hardest.
Why good people

have to go through it
in the worst of ways.

I don’t understand
why people hurt them the most.

Why people are so careless
with the ones who show them

soft, gentle love.
Why people are so senseless
to the ones who make them feel alive….!