Since I lost my father
Mother
I've been losing my touch with everything
Mother
Like the gravity of it has finally hit me
Isolated and gone
Momma
I wish it wasnt like this
Mum
I wish i didnt feel like this
Like a lost lil kid under a bridge cars passing him by with a sign in his hand
Wondering where the hell is home
Mommy
It amazes me that i am about to see 20 and my dad died this year
so i  gathered up my soul and burned a bush for something to happen
like killing myself would bring him back
A life for an life
and eye for and eye
I just have yet to go blind
that reality isn't fine

At the end of the day i hate you like the sun watching the moon

I hate you so much i cant be without you
So much when i breathe i choke because you aren't there

I'm so lost in hate
i write love poems in paradoxes
Getting so lost between lines
My eyes roll into the back of my head
and i find myself singing this song

"Baby if knew where this poem ended I wouldn't still be here writing in my woes "

Writing is my ecape
Endless roads engraved in my view
Because my words hate me more than you
Inflicting oppression like im not already fighting depression
Demons grabbing at my heels
Peeling away the skin
Just let me take a dive
Im tired of performing
For actors with no domain
Maybe i was once insane
Still fighting clocks like the human heart never stops
Singing a tune with bloodshot eyes
Please forgive my lie
I cant stop with the ****** rhymes
I'm just done writing home
Shes long  gone now

Have you ever danced in broken glass
That's how my heart looked in your debature
I didnt know how i would make it through
So i wrote as i always do in tales of 2
Myths and Fiction to counter my addiction
How have i become so wilted
My leaves are falling my roots have all but dried
Now your pulling me up like a ****
I could have sworn i was a rose even with my thorns
All of sudden it starts to burn
It was never about me when i had you
everything in my body
It was all for you
From start to finish
I almost died for you
Only time could tell us two
We had hearts afraid of our truth

I kick off my boots and remove my uniform
This my first year but its taking a toll
I hold a gun in my hand kick doors in and after drink
I drink
laugh
wash it away
Ive been away from my mom for awhile now
I lost my girl
My dad

Its all starting on pile on now
Its watching a train derail
Its watching them run from there homes
Its watching a bullet force you to bleed like sand  in an hourglass
But i still saddle up
Look into the mirror at the metal on my chest that clanks because  i refuse to silence them
They have become a part of me
But im afraid it mine next they will be bringing home
All ****** and warm
Like the body of the deer the man next door brought home
I wake up sore not physically but mentally
My dreams argue for a time to broadcast my memories but the sleep just creeps over and fall into the abyss