Script scratched on the sinews of my soul
Lips echo with sharp words,
I slipped away where nobody would know.
I cried in the bathroom.
I didn't want to hurt anyone.
I didn't want too be feared,
Or hated.
Face forced into a ticking ,twitching smile
Fake gestures ,stiff posture, a throat full of bile.
Linguistic cuts,covered over with syllabic stitches,
Words have cut,and words have healed him.

By the cadence of my steps,
A jilted lover shall know death.
And if in morning she shall wake,
She'll know her lost And lonely mate.
We trail and trek,down unto doom,
In lengthy night and shortened noon
We Lovers hold each others hearts,
And trip,and choke,
And break, now hark:
The cadence comes, hers matches mine,
We cuckold be: by loves fair shine,
Know only bends and shattering,
And we grow tired, wait,and see.

I'm trapped in my labrinthian mind
Attempted Rehabilitation has shaken me into self delusion
My submission is to seclusion
I'm cut off from my self in entropic confusion
Inevitable walls rise at emotions first mentioned
Truths I've obscured through divisive contention
I argue with my self. . . no I don't.
Its hard to pull myself apart
But I must
Divide my sins to see my heart

what gravity, and where has the gravity gone?
when yesterday a new year dawned -
I asked myself this question,pained,
and answered with the things i've done.
I blame myself for our pummelling decline,
though in part, it be yours beside -
i could have, but didn't-and did, but could not have -
many things that made the difference.
And i lay there, wondering if ever i would feel as heavily entwined,
as when first your gravity became mine.
and feared - that never again - should i be tethered -
by the few invisible tines that held me to this mote of dust
I fear free fall, up into the sky.
And all i can do is lay here, and fight the lies, while we cry.

it nonsensical that i'm cynical
when love has always been  my pinnacle
i created a false dichotomy
between being loved and never being hurt
but that's just it, loving takes a lot of me
and it's covered me in years of blood and dirt
but that can't bury it's worth
i plunged my hands into the earth
expecting a dagger that laid dormant,
but the beauty that i found was stark, and storming
sharp, and thorny,
but with petals too, uncurling
not yet in full bloom, but soon
A  white rose will come under another moon
licked by drops of blood,
pricked from my fetid wounds.

weight behind my eyes
i'm tired
tum tum drums and craving cries
music in my ears
words whistle-swish through my brain
i'm thinking
I have never felt this way
and I'll never feel the same
so Just this once
this is what a moment is
passing to the next
just this once
and then i'll let it slip
sleep will subtly sweep me down
and then i'll lose my grip
sight will  fade out of my eyes
my head will be a cloud
but for now...
for now Im young and alive

I do not exactly know how i lived. But i did. and I do.
I do not know what it means to live, and yet i have, it is true.  
I am a pendulum, forgotten by physics
I will never not swing.
I will always sing through the air.
and when I'm here, or when I am there
I'll always live, though it's never fair.

little one
huddled, hiding
in that place
i only ever arrive at
by spiraling

why is it that you fear
everything?

come out.
It may hurt.
It may not be safe.
But here
you can uncurl.