People think I am so strong.
"No matter what you go through",
They say,
"You continue to smile. You never give up!"

What they don't know, is that my 'strength' is a weakness.
My 'strength' is forgetting.

I unintentionally forget the words, the situations, the people that cause me pain.

I forget the good.
I forget the bad.
I forget everything.

That's how I cope.
That's how I move on.
That's how I'm still alive.

So no, I am not strong.

Im merely just doing what I have to
to survive.

I stopped wearing my seatbelt when speeding on the highway.
I walk into on coming traffic without bothering to look.
I text while I drive even if I struggle to stay between the lines.

I stopped caring about my safety.
I stopped caring about my life.
I suppose it's because I felt as if I didn't have anything to live for.

Suddenly, I was laying in your arms
Listening to music I've never heard before but instantly loved

Watching the flame of the candle flicker as the light danced across your cheek
Feeling your heartbeat become steady with every exhale

Now I wear my seatbelt.
I look both ways.
I put down my phone.

I am thankful death didn't let me in when I knocked at it's door, for I would have never met you.

You seek adventure.
You are fearless.
You are ambitious.

You've climbed the tallest of trees which blessed you with the most beautiful view.

I am but a sapling.

You water me with your kindness and I am slowly growing stronger.
But even if I grow to be strong and tall and beautiful,
I fear I am not worth the climb.

I am thankful you can make a smile appear on his face and make his eyes squint with pure happiness.

I am thankful you can be there when he needs it and still there even when he doesn't.

I am thankful we are similar enough to make me think he loved me so much that he tried to find
someone like me.

And yet not too similar,
in that, you drive him away,
like I did.

I am thankful you are like me, but better;
For he deserves the best.