Walk up the steps,
          Sit on the stool,
                  Adjust the mic,
                         face the lights,
                               And sing.

Strum the strings,
Hear how your voice rings.
Close your eyes,
And shed your disguise.

Sing about the things you feel,
The things that don’t seem real .
Sway with the song,
And hear the crowd sing along.

Don’t think about stumbling on the words,
Or tripping over the cords.
Hear the melody and hum,
Think about the applause sure to come.

All your problems left when you stepped on the stage,
Now it’s up to you to finish the song, to write another page.
It may seem like hell
But you gotta step out of that shell

Strum the strings,
Hear how your voice rings.
Close your eyes,
And shed your disguise.

I promise that everything’ll be alright,
You’ll win the fight.
The stage fright won’t last long,
So sing your song.

Walk up the steps,
               Sit on the stool,
                          Adjust the mic,
                                  Face the lights,
                                                And sing.

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And I hung my head and I cried

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
The brightest star of my life,
The light of my day,
The cause of the tingling warmth in my heart.
The only smile I search for in a crowded room,
The only voice I listen to when you’re up on the stage,
The only person I miss when I’m feeling lonely.

I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me to love another
You'll regret it all some day

You make me happy when skies are grey.
When I’m down in the dumps,
When I’m feeling like no one loves me,
When I’m hating myself,
Your arms around me are what I want to feel,
Your smile is what I wish to see,
Your sweet words are what I want to hear.

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me and love another
You have shattered all my dreams

You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you.
How much I need you,
How much I want you to be here with me,
How much I miss you when you’re away.
I hope you can see what you mean to me,
I hope you know I’ll be here for you like you are for me,
I hope you don’t change your mind.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Please don’t take my sunshine away.
There are many things that would make you leave,
There are many things that could dim your light,
There are many things that could cause a supernova.
Please don’t take my sunshine away,
Please don’t take my sunshine away,
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

The phone goes round and round.
What could this all mean?
And at two o’clock in the morning, really what could dad need right now?
One by one, I see the faces drop.
And the phone goes round and round.

Why won’t they let me talk to him next?
Why won’t they just tell me what’s going on so I can go back to bed?
Why are they all looking at me like that, with fear and worry behind glazed eyes?
Why will no one answer my questions?
And the phone goes round and round.

Oh dear god, just one person away.
I have my guesses as to what this is.
I’m crying already and the phone hasn’t even come to me yet.
The list of people who I think might be it.
Who might be gone.
And the phone passes to me.

Hello?
‘Cancer’
And just like that my life was flipped.
The world fades,
As I pass out from crying too hard.
And the phone goes round and round.

It was worse for me,
Watching someone die is loads worse than them just being dead.
You see them suffer and you see their pain.
It becomes so hard to look,
Because you become too scared to see the death.
And I remember the phone going round and round.

How could it be him?
So strong, so brave, so gallant,
Struck down by cancer.
The one person that never ran through my head,
When I listed people who I expected died.
That awful phone went round and round.

When my time came, a month later,
I had so much to say,
Just in case I never saw him again.
I love you, you’re doing great, keep fighting…
Please.
That awful phone went round and round.
The problem was that I never said anything.
It was too hard to see the pain you were trying to hide,
But I saw it, and couldn’t see past,
So when it was time to leave, I said my love,
Banking on the fact that he’d be there for Christmas.
That awful phone went round and round.

Six months later, the phone came out again.
And my tears fell, last again to get the phone.
I’ll never see him again.
It’s hard to remember that he’s not in pain anymore,
When you see that awful phone going round and round.

I heard you said that I was pretty,
But it was obviously a mistake.
How could a guy like you
Have feelings for me?
I'm not cool or good looking.
Not funny or slimming.
Nor am I formal,
Half the time I'm just trying to be normal.

I get the feeling that you're proud of me,
Are you wrong, too?
I'm not as smart as the smartest kids,
But not as average as the averages.
No one ever notices me try and do something,
So how'd you figure that you noticed my nothings?
'Cause last time I checked, I was a bore.
When I talked to you, you walked toward the door.

I see that you are smiling at me,
Those white pearls showing.
That doesn't make much sense to me
Because no one likes me the way I am.
I've had fake friends before,
But this seems real as well as odd.
I'm too closed up and definitely too weird.
Too different for anyone as normal as you with all your previous nasty sneers.

This is weird,
It just isn't right.
No one can love me,
At least not the way I am.
I just wish I could see what is fake and what is real,
Because now I don't know how to feel.

You liking me,
That's just not right,
It doesn't make sense,
And it makes me confused.

That's just not right

I am from
Harry, Ron and Hermione
And Cather and Levi
From Frodo, Gandalf, and Gollum.

I am from my dad’s quirky jokes,
And him laughing at me when I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

I am from Star Wars
And old 90s movies like Empire Records and Dazed and Confused
From my mom’s awful teary movies
And my favorites like Harry Potter and Strawberry Shortcake movies.

I am from John Denver, Johnny Cash, and Frank Turner.
And singing with my sister as we jumped on our beds.
I am from my dad’s record player
And my mother’s rapping with her car dance moves on road trips.

I am from scratches from the cat
That my dad found in his car.
From the dog who snuck in my room
to disassemble my book covers and sneaking back to my brother.

But I am also from yelling from the bedroom
And holes in the walls from my dads strong arms
From nap time while my dad moved out
And only seeing him 10 days a month
And then down to only 4

I am from moving
Brookings to Sioux Falls and repeat and repeat and repeat
From my Dad’s Divorce Trailer
And my mom moving us around every 2 to 5 years.

I am from never having a best friend for more than 3 years
And always trying “too hard” at school.
From sitting in the library while I wait for recess to end.
And befriending the person that people thought was annoying when no one else would.

I am from fear
Of my mother’s punishments or my stepdad’s wrath
From being asked if I’d rather live with my dad if I like it there so much
And from being a failure that only gets disappointment from their mom
But, hey, at least she’d be giving me some attention.

I am from my father’s anxiety that was passed down to me.
And my mother’s “Irish” temper, as she calls it.
From my grandma’s passive attitude, pushing things deep down,
Until I blow up like a volcano, but the ammo doesn’t leave.

I am quite glad that this is what I am from.
I wouldn’t be me if I couldn’t fall into books when I wanted to leave but couldn’t.
I wouldn’t be me without the bitter fights and split either.
These things that I am from might seem little or seem overwhelming, but I assure you,
Without all the pieces of this puzzle, you wouldn’t be able to see this stellar picture,
I would not be the me that you all think you can perfectly see.

Stop!
They don’t really like you.
They are only being nice because of who your family is.
They’re using you.
You’re not good enough to have real friends.
How could you possibly think you were good enough?
You’re too weird.
One day when your family doesn’t matter they’ll drop you with a snap of their fingers,
Just.
Like.
That.

Hold on!
Your mom doesn’t love you.
She has every reason not to.
You’re your father’s kid, girl,
Just having the same genes as him could probably get you kicked out.
You ***** up to much, such a disappointment.
She has plenty of kids, you and your brothers aren’t needed to make this family work.
She has a handpicked child, and two more that are perfect,
Red hair, taller, bigger, better, and simply not a McKay.

Wait just a second!
He doesn’t actually think you’re pretty.
You know you’re ugly and the glasses make it worse.
He is tricking you.
No one will ever truly like you.
You’re not pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough.
Face it, you are just one big fat fraud.
And even if someone actually did like you,
They would change their mind quickly because you’re messed up.

I hope you know, everything is your fault!
God gave up on you, that’s why I tell you not to pray, you are beyond repair.
Your parents’ divorce, not having friends, not being pretty, me, it’s all your fault.
I’m in here screaming at the top of my lungs, diverting your attention, because of you.
And I will never leave, in fact, as you grow up, day by day I’ll add.
Self-doubt, Anxiety, Depression, Loneliness.
And they won’t leave either.
We will always be here, reminding you that you’re a failure, and won’t ever be enough.
...Until you stop trying...

The driveway of my house has potholes and washed up chalk residue.
Markings from bike tires and cars that come and go.
I try and try to get to the car by the curb that’s been parked there since I was born,
But the driveway seems to get longer and longer, and longer.

My house sits at the back end of this driveway.
With traps that visitors can’t seem to find,
And yelling matches that can’t be heard through it’s impervious walls.
And so I run and run and run, never reaching the end of this dumb driveway.

If you ask the people who have or haven't reached their car,
They all have different opinions.
It all depends on the person-- no… the past.
Who’s been seen, who’s been heard, who’s been loved, and who’s been misunderstood.

We may be wrong, or we may be right
But we don’t care
Because all we want to do is reach the gosh **** car at the end of this Rotten driveway
That feels longer every time we trip, fall, or bend to re-tie our porous shoes

I don’t yet understand that these falls and knots that I make now will help me to learn to drive,
So when I reach that car on this idiotic driveway’s curb
I’ll be able to grasp the steering wheel
And drive, away of course.

When I back out of this rundown, beat-up, defeated driveway
I’ll think of the path it took me on.
Maybe all the scratches and bruises I’ll have by the end of this pavement
Will tell me different tales from the perspective of the rocks and cement.

Life seems rough looking back at the torn up house from this ever-stretching driveway,
Because no one remembers the good,
the colorful chalk pictures and the shiny new bikes
And maybe we won’t ever remember unless it’s all behind us and we reach that car on the curb of this
gosh ****, ever-stretching, rundown, beat-up, defeated, dumb, idiotic, Rotten, long, long, long driveway,
But i will always call it home.