Inside the
immolation
of my flaming mind
almost roasting
in its own juices,
thoughts trickling down
into physical matter
and into the
lush cusp of words,
words that twist and turn
and curl around my tongue
as they wind their way
into realms divine
and sacredly profane,
entwining the alchemy
of lost magic
with the fabric of stars--
Yes,
in this trance of absolute divinity
I stand within
my own sacred love temple
ready to take in
whatever comes
in highest form
ready to unfurl and release it
into the breathing spaces
tightly packed between
the tapestry of this existence
so closely interwoven
within the stellar,
cellular matter
of our beings
of earth
of constellation
of fire
of sea
Here,   I need to not only
cast my thoughts
into the vastness of air
not only paint the night sky
with sounds that emerge,
so guttural, from my
deepest knotted chords
but actually consummate
this force within
consume it and be consumed
bring it to light
with my own
sacrosanct
manifestation…
blast it forth
in shoals of white
conjure it from
the source, pristine
    fight the fight
for truth, for love
           and all that's
in
      between

Sadness is when a child wishes their mother a happy father's day.

It's been a long long road
That I've been travelling
And it's a heavy load
That I've been carrying
Now the nights grow long
And the days become colder
So tell all the brothers
They can tell all the others
That I'm going home

                         By Phil Roberts

Long neck
Not some beer bottle
But a soft waddle
As his beak
Pecks and plucks
Roots, and grassy stuff
To munch

Black eyes
With a white chin
And a face
That goes
From black
To white
And back again

Feathers folded in
Light brown
Gray and fading
Flutter nervously
When he sees me
Approaching

Beautiful, distracting
Extracting me from my
Deep reflections
And ancient sorrows

I watch web feet
Walk into that small sea
And see a water stream
Follow him
As he swims
Away

What for you need a pen that writes black?
The man at the counter shot back
What has the blue done to offend you?

Look up the firmament
Over there the kingfisher
Once I had been to the sea
She was blue
Surely you prefer over black
A blue saree for her
So many men have staked their life
For the blue eyes of women

And then as if volleying the winning goal

Why not color all your wishes with blue
To paint the world blue-wish?

As I turned to walk away
My eyes caught the writing on his wall..

Black ink for the black heart
For the fool and the dull
Blue for the man of art
With matter in the skull

I had come to the wrong shop.

This is for the father that does not consider to be a whole in his creations life.
This is for the mother who chooses to 'opt out' of being a giver of love to the fruit of her womb.
This is for the one who has chosen to be an absent parent..

This is for you...

WAKE. the. ****. UP!!

What are you doing?

What is wrong with you?

It seems to me you may not fully understand the ramifications that your chosen absence will play in the life of your child.

So I will spell it out it for you..

Your child, your gift, your delight, the one who was created from your very own dna, the one that you willingly gave life to and brought into this world...

will remember everything you have not done.

And they will carry this as a load upon their back for quite possibly most of their life.

Each will carry it differently, but carry the load they will. Some will carry it with forgiveness, some will carry with resolve, some will carry with the added weight of a heavy heart. Some will carry defiantly and will never truly forgive.

And no matter how they position the weight you give, by choosing to be absent, they will still carry that load...
because of you.

And you will continue to add weight to that load every day you choose to be absent from their life.

Each missed opportunity will be a pound of disappointment that your child will carry... for you.

Each broken promise will be a pebble.
Each late appointment will be a handful of sand.
Each missed birthday will be a tablespoon of gravel
to fill their pockets.

And every achievement they experience, that you have missed, will weigh upon their mind and their heart.

And because of this, throughout their life,
they will continually try to win your love.

You hear that...??
They will try. and. win. your. love...

Because... it is not given freely...
so they will try to win it.!!!
because, bottom line...
let's face it...

you're a selfish ****.

And because of your self centered behaviour, everything that they need, want and have to experience without you will be tainted with your chosen absence.

Every tear and heart break, every grazed knee, bad dream, smile, whisper, secret, colouring on the fridge door, every clay model, every needed word of advice, comfort, support and encouragement, every exam result, every moment of despair, loss, grief and first love...

each and every lost opportunity to say 'i miss you'
each and every unuttered 'i love you'
will be carefully, silently and invisibly weighed,
measured
and carried.

And i promise you this..
the weight you have placed upon them will be keenly felt  
when it is their time to fly.

This is not to say they will not fly, because they will,
and beautifully so..

And with wings that you did not help to fashion.

And, because of your chosen absence, your creation, your child, your very own delight will always carry the weight that you have placed upon them.

And the weight of your absence is so much heavier than you could possibly imagine.