You remember our talk last night about self-reflection?
I felt like I needed to do some of that without
distractions.
So I drove for an hour and went to a safe place.
The mountains were inviting, red tail hawks screeching.
The tranquility of the moment was just what I needed.

In the solitude I found the answer to a "problem" that was plaguing my mind.
I have so much love to give ...
to someone who deserves it.
So much caring and compassion ...
for anyone who needs it.
Reciprocation in feelings and understanding
that
I'm not broken.
I was hurt
and now I'm healing.

Now in that truth I saw the true meaning
Not all poems have to rhyme
not everyone is going to understand the chaos
that's in your mind
And that's okay.
Because I love myself enough
to know
when to let those people go.

When the haze wears off and you come back to reality, your senses no longer heightened  return to the dull.  
And you look at yourself like who am I now that I was not before?
Return to the haze where everything felt OK
kiss the sky
dance with the breeze
write poetry
feel everything that the “normal” you can not see
Live,love and get lost
be wild
Be free
lost in the haze

You're worried about her state of mind
but you chose me
And still worry about her.
What was I thinking??
Putting myself in this place
Did it to myself.
Ignored the signs.
You told me you loved me first
Yeah you were drunk
I thought the things you say when you're drunk was real honesty?
Who put that In my head?
Yeah I know, I should've known.

Side piece has a ***** ring to it.

Do you sleep better with her now that your lies have aired?
Do you feel good about yourself lying to me for months

If I could go back I wouldn't text you "hey"
Should have ran the other way

Stupid of me again
to fall in love with the idea of what love could have been

Click, click
An empty shell drops to the floor

I am done
saying **** IT to it all
cool metal to the temple
quick squeeze of the trigger

Click, click
man down.

When was it that I went wrong?
Was it when I was four
and my step-daddy loved his pretty girl

Running, running, away from the house
a pack of matches and starter fluid
I want to burn it all down
How can my mother live in that house knowing what happened
He's in the walls...

Did I go wrong when she was born?
I brought innocence in this world
knowing the evils it holds

Did you forget you attract the demons?

Foolish girl, who said you deserved to be loved?

Click, click

My last goodbye
Don't shed a tear
for my demise
Waste it on another fool who ..

I want to be sad
but I know I should be stronger than that.
The lies you told filled my heart with love
I couldn't have been happier.

I want to cry
but you're not worth those tears
anymore
If I shed
its for myself
for ignoring what deep down I knew
I didn't have you
Not truly
You were never mine to have

This hole that is left
feels like death
How can I ever let myself love again?

Why do I always fall for unavailable ones. When theyre ready they are happy with the next one never mind me waiting patiently. Eyes graze over, the only thing you’re good for is a tumble. Fall for the next one to break their heart. Never seeing the good girl right.here. No longer patient, no longer waiting.

I fall apart
When I think of you
Help me find a way
to rid you of my mind
Help me regain what is mine
I want my life back
without you haunting me
Its cold outside
without you by my side
Throwing my hoodie up
walking away
You're gone
and you need to leave
me
alone
Help me regain my mind
I lost it
when you died

[I died with you]