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Persephone Faust Aug 2020
I’ve walked this world 1000 years.
And I will it walk it, 1000 more,
Because this world is dark.
Darkness has become my home.

Cursed into eternity,
Fearful of the light,
I walk the corpse filled alleys,
And barely notice the ****** needles pushed to the side.

I roam from one place to another,
Feeling alone.
My family has long been buried,
No-where is my home.

From street to street,
Past burned down churches,
Abandoned ghettos,
Leaving behind the ghosts of
People who have no tombstones.

No noise.
Dead silence.
The smell of decay.
Where there once were children,
But they no longer come out and play.

Where love once resided,
Is an empty black space,
Where my heart once was,
A shrouded coffin has taken its place.

My humanity is gone.
The fact of loneliness remains.
My memories I once treasured,
Are buried by your grave.
Persephone Faust Aug 2021
I didn't like you when we first met.
You rubbed like a cheese grater, against my nerves.

I was just fine, with the weird
"I hurl insults at your face, today" friendship
that we created.

I was okay hating you,
because the more I did,
the more I realized that you were a lot like me.
which annoyed me completely.

then one day,
out of left field,
You literally let **** hit the fan.
You threw a pipe bomb,
on our functional friendship!!!

It was all,
"Aww I think you're beautiful,
I think about you constantly,
I need you with me,
blah..blah..blah"

No! I didn't take it well!
I raged like a tornado!
it was like you threw a wrench
into the washer when it was on
empty and spin cycle.
Who does that?!

But you know....
it hit me, why I reacted so aggressively....
you said it first!
you got to tell me
the one thing,
that I was scared
to tell you all along.....]
I LIKE YOU!!
Persephone Faust Mar 2018
It use to be easy to love you,
I really wanted to hate you,
I use to be lost without you,
But I don’t know what I should feel for you.

You left me,
You came back.
It was the beginning of a pattern,
I accepted without question.

Then California came into your mind,
And I’d knew you’d leave one last time.
There was no coming back,
There was no goodbyes,
I laid in the corner of my bed and cried.

But you were gone,
You didn’t care.
The emptiness you left in me,
Grew into something more.

You cracked the foundation,
The foundation of me.
You stole my heart,
Out of my chest, and watched me bleed.

You said you loved me,
Claimed to care.
But when I really needed you,
You were never really there.

I was nothing to you.
Just a person for you to use.
You’re the devil in disguise,
You build your future on lies.

Your lies gave you a power.
And I fell for you in my weakest hour.
You built me up,
Just to toss me aside.

You assumed I was fragile,
And I will admit I was.
My remains were shattered,
Broken on the ground.

But I picked myself back up,
When you left town.
No I will never get the,
Pieces of me I gave to you freely.

I don’t want them back.
Keep them, trash them,
Put them on a shelf and stare,
I’m like the tin man,
With no heart,
So I don’t really f*ing care.

I rebuilt myself stronger,
Replaced my old brain,
Stole courage from a lion,
I roar now without pain.

It’s like clicking my heels,
And saying there’s no place like home,
I’ll leave my memories of you in a basket,
On the dirt road where we once started from.

This isn’t Kansas,
This isn’t Oz,
This is the rebellion of my long lost heart.
Persephone Faust May 2022
I want to hear you say my name..
I never knew, that a name could be caressed.
But your lips run up the spine of the vowels,
making me crave your touch desperately.
Persephone Faust May 2019
It reads like a love letter,
The page is filled with words of hate,
I picture your face in my mind as you read these words line by line.

I imagine you to be shocked and angry,
The betrayal reads like a harlequin romance novel on your eyes, and I hear myself giggle, despite the fact that you’re hurting or maybe in-spite just to see you cry.

The love letter of hate which I wrote for you lays all your **** bare, and it’s my dream come true.

See this darkness in me begs for your humiliation, it feeds on it. And I crave the desperation in your voice as you beg for this to end, but it’s only the beginning my friend.

They tell me that misery loves its company, and I know it to be true, so I hope you believe me when I tell you, that I want you to revel in misery too.

You thought you were cold and unforgiving, but you’re weak and unchanged.

You have awakened something calculated and manipulative in me, something that wants to make you pay.

I’m cruel and unyielding when it comes to torturing you. You have held me in silence and in fear for far too long, it’s your turn to scream. So run far, run long.

I’m not far behind, but you won’t see me when I come for you, much like Bane I was born and raised in darkness, I’ll sniff you out like a moth to a flame and distinguish your light faster than your gun can aim.

I am no longer scared, and never was I weak. I was building my anger and waiting for my moment to speak.

Now that I’m free, I’ve got a list with just one name. So, all that is left is a question. “Are you sure you want to play this game?”
Persephone Faust May 2018
My dreams have filtered you in again.
I thought for a second it was safe to sleep.
When I close my eyes, it’s always your face I see.

I open my eyes and stare into blue.
I see your mouth form the words,
“I love you.”

Like an idiot, I smile.
Like a fool, I believe.
Like a child, I trust.

When I wake up I am shaken,
Because I let you in.
I thought I got rid of these memories,
But you keep finding a way to break in.

These memories are painful,
You and me,
Skin on skin,
Tangled beneath the sheet.

Your lips on my neck,
My hands on your back,
Your breath on my skin,
My heart beating fast.

This is making my head spin.
I’m sliding down the wall.
I’m sitting here staring blankly,
As my heart relives it all.

I can’t stop my breath from catching.
I can’t stop the tears as they fall.
The good isn’t all that I see.
The bad won’t be stalled.

These memories are wrecking me,
Me and you,
Yelling and shouting,
Slamming separate doors.

My tears spilling into my hands,
Your form silhouetted in the hall,
My hands shaking,
You walking out that door.

My head is pounding,
I’m feeling very sick,
I’m sitting here on my knees
Heaving these memories,
To flush away.

Finally I am breathing,
The tears have gone,
The movie is over,
But I’m still alone.

There will always be a million “what if’s”.
There will always be a memory of you,
But if I can stand up after this?
I can get over you.

As I lay down in bed,
I’ll turn the light off,
I’ll take that deep breath,
And close my eyes again,
And let my mind wander with ease.
Persephone Faust Dec 2021
I don’t know if you ever heard me,
When I would tell you that I don’t need
You to fix me.

I have only ever asked you to love me
Broken while I mend the pieces.

It has only ever been about you.
And I am human, I bleed too.
But in my haste to always put you first,
I have forgotten myself entirely.
And now I am broken beyond repair.

We have moved from bad to worse,
From worse, to ruin.
Everything that we have built is in ashes
Around the center of what we’ve become.

When did it become this war between us?
Look how far we have fallen from our grace.
It’s become lethal, and now, nothing will be the same.

You have taken pieces of me dear.
You have taken the best pieces of me,
And turned them rotten, only to sew
Them back into my skin.

My spirit is broken,
And you! You have gotten everything you’ve wanted.
Was it everything you hoped it would be,
When you looked into my eyes
And fired the shot that killed me?

I am broken, and yet I still breathe.  
I can no longer look at you,
When I do, I see all the things,
I wanted us to be.

I no longer look at you with adoration.
Maybe you will hear me now,
When I tell you,
That there is nothing left to fix.
Persephone Faust May 2023
I had to walk away from you.
I was fearful of what you were offering,
perhaps because you offered it once before,
that this time, I could not make myself accept,
that there was a possibility that you had changed.

You came promenading into my life,
turning it upside down, condemning me to become
an ocean of every single emotion, that I had padlocked
away, promising me, that this love was unlike any other.

And it was. Jesus Christ! I fell so fast! In a blink of an eye, I had surrendered everything that was me, to you.

I found myself wading in the deep color of your eyes, sinking in the depths of what you gave me.
I let you pour your broken pieces on me like rain.
I let your broken promises seep into my skin.
I let your lies intoxicate me, until I was so drunk on you,
that I did not know who I was...

It wasn't enough for you. I gave you the parts of me so dark, that they tainted the remaining light in my body.
I bound my trauma and put it in your hands, because you said you could make it seem, like it had never touched my body, or soul.
I handed you my trust, my love, my ego and my selflessness, just to watch you put it on the shelf collecting dust, your ignorance and abandonment.

You left me on my knees in the dark, begging for scraps of you.
I became less of a person, waiting for you to love me.
I watched you, shut me out of your life, no glimmer of hope, with no return in sight.
You kept me locked in your shadows, hoping that I had not recognized that you, you simply found another.

The prison that I was trapped in, began to fill with water, and I couldn't bother to save myself, because I had thought, for only a split second that you would come back and save me.
You had the key in your hand. I watched from the bottom of the darkness as you tossed it away, and me along with it.

It was only when I kicked my way to the surface that I realized that you were never really there.
You were a figment of the pain that I sought to control but couldn't get ahead of.
You were my dark fantasies and secrets, flashing out in the open for all to see.

I created you, because I couldn't love me.
I sought you out because I couldn't control my pain.
I clung to you because you were made of the same dark material, as my soul.
In the end, it wasn't me that wasn't enough for you...
Your darkness was never enough to drown me.
Persephone Faust Aug 2019
I had a dream about you.
It was like you never left, but things were
Different than before.
You held me like you meant it,
You kissed me and I could feel how much
You missed me.
You took my hand and danced me around
The kitchen and with your hand at the small of my back,
I looked at you in a way that I haven’t looked at you in 6 years,
With love and adoration.
The totality of these feelings in me, for you
Overwhelmed me to a point of tears and complete frustration.
Why couldn’t you love me this way,
Why couldn’t you look at me this way,
Why couldn’t you touch me this way,
When you were here?
You’re my past but this is a dream,
So I’ll lock it away when I’m awake and just have one more night with you in my mind.
Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll forget what I dreamt in an hour or  two.
So right now hold me, touch me, kiss me,
Like you never did in reality.
Because I need you right now and I’ll never admit it out loud,
But I miss you.
Your smile,
Eyes,
Your laughter,
Tears,
Your kisses,
Your midnight secrets,
Your confessions in the dark,
I miss being yours.
And dream you is better than waking
To reality and there being no you here with me.
Persephone Faust May 2018
They told me you were a hurricane,
But they wouldn’t tell me what class.
When I looked  at you, all I saw,
Was a gentle and perfect piece of glass.

My mind ran away with my cloud nine dreams.
I thought I was safe in your ocean,
With the sunrise in reach.
The waves became erratic and the perfect,
Illusion was shattered,
Nothing was what it seemed.

You unraveled beneath the surface,
Unleashed all your rage.
You reached up from the depth and capsized my boat,
With the perfect destructive wave.

I could hear the thunder,
See the lighting streak across the sky.
I could see all your lies and illusions,
Dance across your eyes.

I dove beneath the waves,
Trying to reach you,
And soothe your heart,
To whisper, “I love you.”
Like I have from the start.

I loved you as a hurricane.
But I loved you more as a man.
I even loved your destruction,
Even the lies you had me eating out of your hand.

But it’s time for change.
Time to say goodbye to the destruction and lies,
I want to set sail in a new boat,
And watch that sun rise.
Persephone Faust Sep 2020
If this is how it ended,
If this is how you died,
Let me finally take a breath.
Because I finally know the reason why.

If this is how I live,
If this is how I survive,
Let me finally close my eyes,
With no more tears to cry.

If this is truly over,
If our bond is truly gone,
Let me play your song,
So I can move on.

If this is how it has to be,
If this is honestly goodbye,
Let my heart hug you one more time,
To last me, this lifetime.

Four years to this day,
You were taken away.
I have suffered,
I have cried,
I have screamed,
I have grieved,
And a part of me died.
It’ll never make sense to me,
Why you had to go.
But it’s time to move on,
And it’s time to let you go.
But I promise you that I
Will carry you Forever in my soul.
For you, my big brother.
May your soul rest in ease.
Persephone Faust Aug 2019
I want to love you completely,
Without barriers surrounding my heart.
But you, you have the power to drown me,
In happiness and love and kindness.
You have the power to build me up and keep me grounded to make me a better person.
You are someone so beautifully rare and incredibly special.
But you scare me.
Because if I fall for you,
I’m handing you my beating heart and placing it your hands.
I’m giving you something that I was never able to give to the ones before.
I’m giving you my awareness, my willingness,
my undying trust and devotion and loyalty.
I’m giving you me.
I’m giving you the anxiety and bipolar riddled madness.
I’m giving you the depressed Wednesday mornings because I miss simplicity in its rarest form.
I’m giving you my past, and hoping you can love me despite that person I was.
I’m giving you my present and the moments in between.
I’m giving my insecurities and my demons because the moment you hold my hand the worlds becomes quiet for me.
But most importantly I’m giving my future,
Because without you I don’t have a future.
I want Sunday morning coffee,
I want Monday night movie madness and early morning Tuesday ***.
I want you for the rest of my life
Because with you I have magic and simplicity in the rarest form.
Persephone Faust Aug 2020
I love you more than words can ever say.
The arguments & fights aside,
I will always want you to stay.
But at the same time, I believe
That I don’t deserve you,
Which is why I push you away.

The fact is, I have scars & open wounds from before.
But you see it as paying for his mistakes,
But I, I have to heal,
And make peace with this burning rage.

To be loved right, by the right man,
After years of being loved wrong, by the wrong man,
Has caused all my insecurities & fears to come out & play.
I know that you are being patient,
But I know that your patience will run out soon.

I know that you are different from anyone I have ever loved before,
I know that you are not at fault for past pain,
And if ever I regret anything,
Is that I didn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved,
All the time.

I adore you,
And I Love You More, Than I Could Ever Scream....
Persephone Faust Feb 2021
The problem isn't you,
it's me.
I know that its the one phrase,
you're not supposed to say.

But no excuses,
because it really is me.

its me,
because I fell for you knowing
the kind of person you were.

its me,
because I allowed myself to care
for someone who doesn't
care for me.

its me,
because I wear my heart on my sleeve,
and hand  it to those,
who would rather see me bleed,
than ever give me a chance.

its me,
because I knew who you were but I still
fell for you, anyway..
Persephone Faust Aug 2020
It’s burning in my throat.
Spewing from my mouth like flames!
This anger and hatred,
I’m no longer the one to blame!

You broke my spirit,
Spurned my love,
Tossed me away,
Like trash that no one could love!

I’ve kept quite for too long.
I’ve got your ***** laundry and it’s a mile long.  
You want to know how it feels,
To have your insides ripped  and peeled?
Just call me Hannibal Lecter,
The lies on the tip of your tongue,
Would make quite a meal.

I’m aiming for your spark
You have no heart to speak of,
so I’m gunning for your brain.
My words are the bullet that splatters,
Your so called logic, like rain.

You want to question my character?
Call plays on my behaviors?
Go ahead, do it,
I’ll survive every play you can think of.

There’s something dangerous about a woman,
With hatred on her mind,
You’ve committed ******,
I’m getting revenge for your crime.

You killed the old me,
She’s buried with no dignity,
Much like a phoenix I rise from her ashes,
And I dare you to try again.

I’m the lightning you’re frightened of,
I’m the rain that floods your world
I am the goddess of damnation,
The queen of filth and degradation,
I rise above all your mortal whims,
You can’t hurt me this time..
Check-Mate
I Win...
Persephone Faust Jul 2018
We use to talk about this day,
the last time was five years ago.
You told me on the phone at 2
in the morning you were going
to chase that Californian sun.
You told me you were going to
chase something different, try
to be someone new, but back then
you wanted me to come with you.

Our infinitely epic two a.m. calls,
where our voices blended together
created a world only we could see.
We made a world fit for the two
Of us, and how we stood out from
The crowd.

I talked about the beach,
My bare toes in the sand,
Walking on the shore line,
With seashells in my hands.
I’d let my hair blow in the wind,
And my smile would be genuine,
I’d look up at the sky and watch the
Clouds roll by.

You talked about just sitting on the sand,
Watching me smile, as I picked up sea-
Shells in my hands.
You said you’d bring a camera,
So you could have that moment forever,
That my feet first touched the sand.
“ nothing could be more beautiful,
Then your smile in California,
Runaway with me.”

But that was five years ago.
So much has changed.
You’re in California,
Your toes are in the sand,
You get to watch the tide come and go,
You have seashells on your nightstand.

All that was brought to life,
Between you and me,
Will only ever be a bedtime story,
About my past history.

And our two a.m. calls are a part of the past.
I only ever dream about you and California,
On days like this I miss the simplicity of our,
History, our friendship and for a fleeting moment,
Our love.

But we’ll forever be each other’s long distance call.
Persephone Faust Mar 2018
It was simple with you
And I miss it that way
Waking up to your smile made my everyday
Being your friend was never going to be enough
It’s true what they say, you cannot help who you love
Maybe I should...

It was difficult to love you
But I miss it all the same
I got to witness your demons
And I felt your pain
But you hide behind a mask
Maybe you shouldn’t...

Together, it was a disaster
Together, we were a mess
I say I love you
You know when I say it, that it’s true
But when you say it back
All I hear is, “ Goodbye to You.”
Maybe you should...

With nothing to say, you turned around and left
I felt my heart shake, then it shattered
I’m tattered and torn, left broken on the floor
But my love just wasn’t enough for you
I have words to say, the ones that could make you stay
Maybe I shouldn’t...

But in the end,
My Heart,
My Soul,
My Love,
My Words,
We’re. Never. Enough. To. Make. You. Stay.
Maybe they should have been...
Persephone Faust Dec 2019
In your home,
That is filled with dust,
And moth-balled filled drawers,
Are letters that were never sent,
And dead flowers fill your vases.

Your walls are lined with dusty photo frames,
With pictures that tell your story
In vivid color.

Pictures of you, when you were younger.
Pictures of you, in your 20’s,
When you ventured off to job corps
And met our father.

Pictures of all four of your marriages,
My brother’s first sonogram,
Followed by the nine months you carried him,
In your womb.
His baby pictures,
His school pictures,
Pictures of you and him,
Pictures of him just because,
In that light he looked like our father.

Frame after frame tells a story,
Of a mother with a child she loves unconditionally.
But....
At the very end, hangs an
Empty picture frame.

That, is where you keep me,
The un-wanted.
This, is how you remember me,
The un-loved.
This, is how you reminded yourself,
That I was there running around,
On the edges of your vision, and memory.
But not important enough to you,
To put my picture in the empty frame.
Persephone Faust Aug 2021
I cannot remember what day it is,
or how this came to be.
All I know is that I fell in love
with Australia, irrevocably.

I've never been hit so hard,
I've never fallen this fast,
But the way he looks at me with
those eyes, there's no going back.

It's not the way he talks,
but its the way he says my name,
That makes me believe in forever,
or that he'll change my last name.

I'm scared to move,
I'm scared to breathe,
What if this man is an Illusion?
A dream within a fantasy?

My heart is pounding faster,
he is holding out his hand.
I close my eyes and take it,
giving love one last chance.

If I am dreaming,
please don't wake me.
If I have died in my sleep,
please...don't bring me back.

Having found him,
is a freedom I thought I'd never have.
Looking at him,
is my heaven.
Don't take me away from that.
Persephone Faust Sep 2020
I don’t want to be someone just like you.
I want you to love me for being someone like me.

Emotional, sensitive, passionate, eccentric are just some of the words that make me, who I am.

I don’t fit into any box that society has built, my personality, my uniqueness, suffocates in the confines of those walls.

I just want someone to look at me, and think, she outshines most of the stars.
I want someone to get to know me, and not just physically.

I want that deep intimate personal connection that you get when you know the other person, knows you like the back of their hand.

I want someone to think that the moon rises with me and the sun sets with me.
I want to be loved openly and unapologetic.

I want to be known.
I want to be learned.
I want to be loved, the way I’ve loved those who didn’t deserve my love.

But we’re only human
Persephone Faust Jul 2019
The Monsters cling to the crowded shadows in my head.
The demons take turns, clinging to my back,
In my ear they whisper sweet nothings and promises,
Promising me the world, dark and quiet.
Those promises felt empty, but they offered me something else,
HOPE....
Hope that I wasn’t alone,
That someone, anyone understood me,
That anyone, someone could hear me screaming.

But nothing more than words were ever spoken,
And those promises never came to pass.
The demons that cling to me, just use me in ways,
That make them feel alive, again.

That’s all we want, isn’t it?
To feel alive?
To feel something?
To feel anything?

I am trapped inside my head,
And still no one can hear me.
All I have,
Is the monsters in the shadows,
And the demons holding my hands.
Persephone Faust Jul 2018
I don’t love you like a woman typically loves a man,
With mushy words and hearts and fireworks.
I love you like the ocean crashes onto the shore.
Or how Spring melts the snow with its warmth.

I love you in a way, that a child loves their childhood toy,
Unconditionally without cause, simply because I can.
My love for you isn’t black and white,
I love you more with shades of gray.

I love you with heartfelt immaturity, like a teenager
In love for the first time, finding any reason to fall head
Over heels again, and again,
Because you make me feel like I’m walking on clouds,
Feeling giddy about falling for you, everyday, over again
For the rest of my life.

I love you like paper soaks up ink from the pen,
Uncontrollable and hungry for more words to be,
Written of infatuation and adoration.
I love you, like the dots go above the i’s,
And the lines go through the t’s,
Or how a period at the end of strewn together words,
Somehow makes it a sentence.

I love you the way, the Sistine Chapel was painted,
With slow broad strokes, and the patience of a steady hand.

I paint you with words, the way Michaelangelo, Van Gough, and Picasso painted the world;
With beauty, undying love, devotion and truth.

And because I know of no other way to love you, than this,
You will always be a beautiful masterpiece,
That I was more than lucky enough to find,
Along the way through my journey of life.

And I promise to never repaint you,
Or tarnish your frame,
But to love you the way you were made,
Priceless Perfection...
Persephone Faust Jul 2019
I lie to myself, when I’m around you.
I tell myself that I am content just being your friend.
But the truth is I want so much more.

I’m your go to girl, whenever you need someone around,
Why can’t I be the girl you fall for?
I love you in a way that is almost criminal.

I sit beside you and fight the urge to reach out,
For your hand.
We go for long drives and I sit there and memorize,
The color of your eyes,
The sound of your voice,
The bells in your laughter,
And I just keep falling.

I want to tell you how I feel,
But we’ll both regret it.
So I tell you inside my head.
I tell you, how hard it is to look at you,
And force myself to see you as a friend,
When really I look at you,
And see someone I love.

I want more with you.
I want to touch you in ways that would haunt you,
I want to kiss you in the middle of downtown,
During traffic so everyone can see.
I want you to lay your head in my lap,
So I can brush your hair away from your eye.
I want to lay in your arms,
With my head on your chest and just listen
To your heart beat.

There is no one like you anywhere else.
And someone like you, was meant to
Love someone like me.
Persephone Faust Feb 2018
You took my hand
And softly whispered in my ear,
“Come away with me.”
I asked you where we’ll go,
Your reply,
“Somewhere only we know.”
I asked you if it was an adventure,
Laughing, you cupped my face,
And told me,
“It’s always an adventure when I’m with you.”
So I followed you,
Through the trees that were painted white,
Past the stream where it flows over pebbles,
By the rustic cabins with broken windows,
Away from the well worn paths,
Where nobody dares to wonder.
And we found ourselves,
In the one place we wanted to be,
Away from the world,
Lost in the woods,
In a field of wildflowers,
Laying on a blanket,
Staring into each other’s  eyes,
As the world just falls away.
Just you and me,
In the only place I want to be,
Somewhere Only We Know....
I’m a hopeless romantic and often I day dream. This poem is the outcome of that day dream.
Persephone Faust Nov 2020
I lay in my bed,
While thoughts of us drift
in and out of the consciousness
of my mind like holes
within a dream catcher.

When you take my hand
And hold me, we are like
Stars at night, in the
Galaxy far above the world
We live in.

With your hand touching my face,
And your lips on mine,
Together we burst into a
Supernova.

We burn so bright that the
Gods far above us,
Kneel down to feel the warmth
Of all that we are against
Their fingertips.

You and I, we are an extraordinary phenomenon.
Two heathens paired together
To make a perfectly balanced saint.

In a world unwitnessed of miracles,
Let us be a beacon of hope,
A reminder that true love is real,
But that a love like ours is rare.
Persephone Faust Aug 2021
I remember the curve of your lips when you would smile
but I cannot remember the sound of your laughter.
I have a movie reel playing in my head
of all the memories we made.
But the sound of your voice is lost in
the depths of my memory chamber.

I remember the way that my heart felt full
and I knew what it was like to be loved.
But the ending of who we were
shadows the memory
of us.

If you ever loved me,
is the question that often comes to mind.
I ask myself this because
looking back on everything,
I cannot remember a single time
that you ever closed your eyes to kiss me.

What I remember is the way you would reach
for my hand, but yours would begin to shake
and you would let go.

I remember the nights I would cry myself to
sleep and you were wide awake next to me.
you never held me, you never reached for me.
You ignored the sound of my pain.

I remember that after awhile,
being in the same room with you,
felt the same for me as being alone.

I tried to get you to notice.
I tried to get you to care.
But you checked out,
you were gone.
And all that we were,
was suspended in air.
Persephone Faust Sep 2018
It’s so vehemently deafening!
This cacophonous howling in my head,
Is reverberating in the depleted chambers of my heart.

Where a fire once flickered bright,
The hearth in my soul is as glacial,
And barren as the winter sun.

I reach out to you for the contentment,
And limpidity you once gave me.
And so, I come to you naked,
In my virtuous conations of fervor
And acceptance.

But you, my love have become,
Somber and contorted with hatred.
The beauty that you once had,
Has become ensnared with thorns
That seek to cut me.

But what can I say?
Your touch is memorable.
I can feel your fingers on my skin,
Tempting my secrets out,
Swaying me to believe in the darkness.

Your lips kiss poison into my veins,
Which make me swoon further into your embrace.

So I gave up, I let you in.
My legs wrapped around your waist,
Your lips on my neck,
My hands in your hair,
Your hands on my body,
My mouth on you.

I sold my soul for your betrayal.
The darkness never felt so  good...
Persephone Faust Jul 2019
The ghost I’ve become,
Is filled with desperation,
A unique sadness.
The darkness is an overwhelming presence,
That lingers in my chest,
Whispering in between the empty spaces,
Of my ribs.
It slowly, seeps through my skin,
Into my veins,
Traveling through my blood stream,
And like a bullet,
It goes straight into my brain.
Like most of my emotions,
I, myself am a Prisoner,
Trapped and confined in a box,
With four walls and no windows,
No room to breathe.
I sit, bound in a straight jacket,
Waiting for a chance to,
Heal from the grief,
The broken heart,
The confusion of loss.
I am broken, torn apart,
And put back together,
All wrong.
I am less of a person now, than I have ever been.
Persephone Faust Jan 2021
You had me at hello, with your hallow love.

You had me enchanted by your beautiful lies.

I wanted your love so badly, that I let myself

Live with your sins.

You surely had me all figured out, you knew  

Me in the most vulnerable ways, that no one  

Else dared to venture.



The things I hated about me, all my insecurities,

You made them disappear from view.

You knew my never-ending lists of fears, &

How the insomnia would set in at night.

Even when I managed to find sleep, my nightmares

Interfered with any peace that I had left.

But still you were there...





Slowly & silently, I started to lose pieces of my  

sanity, and I could feel parts of my soul break within me.

Yet I stayed because I thought this could be fixed.

The fairy-tale I worked so hard to write,

Became ruined with pieces of the reality of all we were.

The Harshest thing I have ever heard you say,

Is that you couldn't love me, broken this way.

What way is it, that you can’t seem to handle?

I’m broken because I tried, to be the perfection

You wanted me to be.  

Despite everything I have done for you, it’s not

Enough for you.

You cannot love me broken,

But I am broken because of you.
Persephone Faust Aug 2018
I found myself today,
On a crowded sidewalk,
In the middle of downtown.

Right after my best friend of 8 years,
Decided I was no longer a worthy,
Part of his life.

I found myself,
Crying on a crowded sidewalk,
In the middle of downtown.

I left my grief there.
The grief I felt for a friendship I adored,
That didn’t matter to him anymore.

There goes another piece of my heart,
There goes another part of my soul.
It wasn’t because I loved you that way,
It was because I thought we loved,
Each other in a way that made us feel,
United in the matter and of the truth,
Of what real friendship was.

My heart is broken ,
And bleeding red pieces of glass,
That make a trail behind me,
As I make yet again, another new start.

The reality of this is,
I’ve been bleeding this glass for awhile,
But this is inevitable part of letting go.

I know I won’t be leaving behind this
Broken glass forever.
I will find a way heal from this loss,
And learn to stitch the part of me,
That felt the need to bleed.

But I feel so sad,
That you felt you needed,
To leave me behind,
When I really thought,
I had finally found a friend
For life.
Persephone Faust May 2018
I’m not ready to talk to you,
I’m not ready to hear what you have to say.
Everything that comes out of your mouth,
Is an unapologetic excuse,
Of how things need to be your way.

You’ve never approved of the person I am.
You’ve never given me the respect I’ve given you.
I’ve always had to apologize for everything,
But you never take responsibility for you.

Everything is a fight with you.
I have to fight to be heard,
I have to fight to be held,
I have to fight to be loved,
It’s depressing and sad.

What kind of a mother,
Would let her daughter beg for love and affection?
I came to you on bended knee,
Dying for your attention.

But I’ll never measure up,
To your golden child,
Your first born,
The only child you’d do anything for.

Around you, I turn into a person I don’t like.
I feel invisible,
I walk on eggshells,
I’m defensive all the time,
I cry myself to sleep,
Because inside, a part of me is dying.

I’m over this feeling I get,
The worthless feeling in me.
You use me to see your grandchild,
Do you ever just want to see me?

Is there anything you like about me at all?
You created a checklist of things,
All of which I keep inside my head,
I dress in t-shirts and baggy jeans,
“Just for once can you look like a girl please?”
I keep my hair short,
And that makes you steam.

There is only so much of me I can offer,
Before I am no longer a person.

The rejection and negativity,
I cannot handle,
You diminish the fire in my soul,
Like you blow out a candle.

I just want you to look at me,
And see all this love I have for you.
But most of my life I gave unconditional love
To a stranger...
So who am I to you?
It’s been a long time coming, this poem has been.
I’m almost 26 and have no concrete relationship with my mother.
Persephone Faust Mar 2018
You got your hand in your pocket,
The other holding mine.
I cannot begin to describe,
What it means to me,
When our hands are intertwined.

You’ve been in my life for years now it seems,
And I’ve fallen in love with you completely.
My scars don’t make a difference to you,
You see them, and kiss them too.

Where did you come from?
Your like heaven on earth.
I swear I could be happy with you,
Till they bury me in the dirt.

My heart beats like crazy,
And the butterflies swarm,
When the sun goes down,
And I fall asleep in your arms.

Your a beautiful soul,
Sounds insane buts it true,
I cannot seem to get the right words out,
When it comes to describing you.

You shifted my world on its axis point,
Everyday I’m with you,
I always see the stars.

This is destiny,
You and me are fated to be,
It all becomes so clear when you kiss me.

You’re the missing piece in the puzzle,
The big picture I’ve been dying to see,
Everything that never made sense,
Makes sense now that you’re with me.

I’m crazy about you,
I’m tripping over my feet,
I’m day dreaming at work,
Thinking about the next time we meet.

This is real,
This love,
I’ve never been more sure.

I never thought I find anyone,
Let alone someone just liked you,
I will love you for the rest of my life,
If you want me to.

I was born with a purpose,
To find you, and love you,
For the rest of our days,
You and I will be together forever,
It’s a promise I made.

You are everything I thought you be and more,
You got me, all of me, both feet are in the door.
This is my promise,
To you, the love of my life,

To hold you everyday, even when the sky rains and turns grey,
To speak softly, when I’m mad,
To cry on your shoulder when I’m sad,
To be ur strength when you need me the most,
To be the woman who stands strongly by your side,
To build you up, when you feel like life is a lie,
To kiss a smile on those perfect lips,
To hug joy into your heart,
To put a fire in your soul,
To love you unconditionally until I’m old,
And when it’s time to say goodbye to this life,
I’ll be right there next to you in heaven,
When you open your eyes.
Persephone Faust Feb 2021
I was lulled into this false sense of hope.
What I received was not what I wanted.
I had prayed that if I had closed my eyes,
and opened them, then my world would be set right.
But all that has changed is my innocence.

I have gone from child to teen,
from teen to adult, from adult to monster,
and from monster, to a whisper.
And with this constant ringing in my head
I can no longer hear my own heart beat.

I want to go back for a moment.
I want to go back when, my life made sense.
Where I had you, where my family was alive,
and I didn't second guess, the nature of who I was.

I don't want to go back, because I hope for
things to turn out differently.
I want to go back, and be in those moments.
There were moments, seconds if you will,
that I didn't truly live in.
My regrets are too many, and I live in them.

I want to go back to say my goodbyes, to love
those that I took for granted and I want to let
them know, that I miss the world they created
for me, while  they were here.
Persephone Faust May 2018
When I was 5,
The world seemed like this big place.
I was little, with no clue how to navigate.
But then, by chance I met you.

You, with your dark brown hair,
And eyes that belonged to an old soul.
I found a friend in you.

When your little, you’re still growing into
Your own person.
So there is no differences to separate you.
We were little and innocent.
We became connected.

But..
We  blinked and suddenly we were no longer 5.
We were pre-teens in junior high,
With a little less innocence.

Always changing, always growing,
We still found a way to be inseparable.
We were best friends.

I found it easy to talk to you,
2 a.m. phone calls,
Telling you my secrets.
I never hid behind walls with you.
There was never a reason.
So I fell in love with you.

You, with your arms opened wide,
Making me feel safe.
Feeling like for once, I found my forever.
I found real love with you.

But...
People change, and grow.
People want different things,
They drift apart.
And found I wanted more,
Than the life we planned.

I found it easier to push you away,
Then to tell you the things in my life,
That became dark.
I pushed you away,
I rejected what you gave me,
Because I couldn’t trust anyone.
I didn’t think you’d understand.
So I hurt you.

You, with your calming demeanor,
And your happy life.
The way you walked on sunshine.
I couldn’t and wouldn’t darken that.

So...
Now we’re grown,
With children of our own.
We see their innocence,
We want some of ours back.

Because of the pain I put you through,
You locked me out of your life for 12 years.
So, now I’m letting you back in.
Letting you see the person I’ve become,
With the wall I’ve built to protect myself.
Letting you know the truth and see my scars.
Hoping that after all this time,
You can forgive me.

You, whom I hold on a pedestal.
The one friend I still love and respect,
And miss more than anyone else who has left.
You, who can still look at me,
And see something other than the darkness.

— The End —