There are far worse fates
Than being alone.
To watch myself grow
Maid, mother to crone.
I could waste all my years on the
Same shallow man,
And skip into hell all
Whilst holding his hand.
I could forgo my passions
For his every whim,
And save all my smiling and love
just for him.
I could bury my future beneath
Soil and stone.
That’s a far worse fate than
Just being alone.

You can’t just create a person
Then leave them alone.
I scream silently at
My father, my
Lover and
My life.
You can’t just make me like this
Then tell me that I’m crazy.
I scratch at the walls of
My apartment, my
Mind and my
Prison cell.
You can’t just love someone then
Treat them like they’re nothing
I whisper to my happy
Memories, my exes
And myself.

Act like I’m the love of your life
Then ignore me the next day
Give me an inch
Then drool over my neighbours little sister
Tell me you care
Then tell me you don’t
Act like you do
Then insist you won’t
Say you will not ever want more
Then treat me like you can’t stay away
Say you won’t get jealous
Then get angry every day
Treat me like you hate me
Then love me again

I probably deserve it,
Being ripped apart by a lonely heart,
For all the men I’ve made lonely,
For all the ones who’ve wanted to love me,
But I wouldn’t let them.
For them I suppose I deserve it,
To fall in love with beautiful strangers,
Who want me just to use me,
To be broken once again.
Its a strange affliction to constantly be
Underwhelmed by kind men,
Only to be charmed by the...
‘You’re too intense’
‘You’re a nice girl’
‘I’m just busy’
...from a blue eyed devil.
Maybe my heart is back to front.

You may be the death of me
You might **** me soon
You’ve turned me to a wild thing
I’m howling at the moon
If it kills me, it’s my fault
For falling for a dream
If it doesn’t I am lucky
If I ever can get clean
You to me are the whole world
But I am just your favourite
Stupid girl

If heaven had a smell
I know it would be your cologne
If hell had a name
It would begin with J, then O
If purgatory felt like something
I know it would feel like you
If anything is anything
I know I never knew

I could pretend I’ve got it together,
Feign ignorance,
Fake confidence.
I could lie and say im fine with it,
Choke on trickery,
Cheat each bit of me.
But the truth of it is simple,
I fell in love and you fell backwards.
I’m moving slowly and you are
Moving on.
I went off the rails and you just
Went home.