I am broken
I am scars
I am silence
I am darkness
I am trouble.
I am *****
I am damaged
I am faults wrapped in eager flaws.
I am unrepentant
I am shamed
I am shattered
I am irreparable.

I am lost.

I am every child that was ever taken too soon from the breast of its mother.
I am every girl who's innocence was shredded by greedy hands and hungry mouths.
I am every pill I ever lined up and swallowed in the hope of sating the voice that begged for my passing.
I am every whiskey I ever chased into oblivion with another...and another ....and another.

I am all these things

and yet

I am hope
I am beauty
I am laughter
I am free.
I am honesty
I am belief
I am truth.
I am.
I am worthy...
I. am. worthy.
I am healing.
I am loved.
Finally.

Of you,
I speak of
softest petals
always kissing
flowers full bloom
wet drops -  your reddened lips
pour darkest cherry wine
all the day
watercoloring
my skies

Looking at apples, my mouth of juice
longing to taste one delicious bite
I stand under this tree
for days

I climbed many a splintered fence
saw you from a great distance
sturdy branches, your arms
leafy crown of thorns
and charms

In trees where ravens fly
from blackest skies
to shelter storms
days of clouds
and cruel raining winds
where even strongest branches falter

I don't know about the world
I have never believed in anything
anyone

But I believe in her

To the end of the universe
Because when the stars burn

And heaven decides it has had it
Hell wants me
My soul is shattered
And pulled everywhere at once

When I can't stop the shaking
The earth floor is pulled out
From beneath my feet

When my world fades
I look around furiously

But I cannot see what everyone else
Focuses on

And I cannot understand the colourless
World around me
Just blurs and shapes
With white noise surrounding me

Standing in the middle of a crossroads
With lorries bearing down
Without brakes
From all directions




My god,
I believe in her





*she'll be there