You are standing in your ego,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                          
  I am standing with the truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
so round & round we both go,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
till we are both lost & confused

Is growing up
Anything more than losing what you know?
About yourself
About your friends
Your feelings?
You know nothing
You are an infant once again
No real knowledge of the world
And so many scattered thoughts
So that even when looking through them all
An impossible feat
You do not know which are real
Which are true
You hate yourself
For every single thing you’ve ever said
And for the one odd thing
That you said
That you did
That you don’t regret
That makes you smile
That you think of with a splash of pride
In a year you will regret that as well
As is growing up

i drove past your street two times this week
but you’re in a different state
and i’ll never step out of the car.
i want you now as you are,
i feel you believe in me in a selfless way.

two times this week
and i already want to give in,
but what if you have a lover and
she’s soft and patient and so much less afraid than i am?
i’ll make your nights an inescapable daydream,
i’ll never make you worry.

why am i just figuring this out,
that you’re all i needed?
i went to a million parties that i wished i could’ve found you in
but you were in a different state.
i keep thinking i’ll see your face
where you are not
and isn’t that a sign?

if i admit this, will you cower?
will you have not felt every single moment as i did?
i don’t want to misinterpret this.
instead i’ll drive by your street two times
and remember how it felt to be loved,
not wasted.

I once built a house with bricks and stones
Poured my blood, breath, and my bones
The walls were painted marble white
Not a stain or mess in sight

I once built a house with my heart as a door
With all the love and memories in its core
The rays of sun, through the window they stream
I feel as if I'm in a dream

But the big storm came, and it all broke down
The sky cried tears, and the leaves turned brown
The cracks traced their way onto the wall
The eerie silence settled in the hall

I once built a house so full of life
But now it's tainted with venom and strife
The wind blew out the remains of my home
Along with all the love I've ever known

Thank you.

I am in

the present I was in

the past I

have seen the future and

we’re in it

Having toiled in the
garden, the young
woman sits in the
shade of an ancient
tree and sings a song
—as if serenading the
tulips and tomatoes.

I wish I could sleep
but I ache,
on all sides,
and on my back,
I see the haunting
that you bring me
And the refusal,
of disappearing.
And a silent tease,
in a blackly sight
of a sudden freezing,
of a jumper's fleece.
A demon's wishes,
of remembrance
of tanned flesh,
and daily blesses,
The snake that hisses
has now became me.

I'm almost positive I heard them talking

Talking in their protective, yet complaining manner

They say, they only get to interact with the weak

They say, they're all too often held responsible for the bond between others

What's the matter with them?

They're the ones full of chemistry

They're the ones who can escape scott free

While I have to stay inside and act positive about it

Just once I'd like to not be in the middle of everything

How to navigate
civilization

in four steps:
Find a chair and

sit quietly.
Then, dismantle

the chair and use
the pieces to

build a ladder, for
a panoramic view.

Return to solid
ground, and

remake the chair.
Sit quietly.