I dwell in possibility-
A place where-
Validation comes easily-
Because I no longer flourish in it-
Where my blankets don’t disgust me-
Because they’re not laced with whispers of your love-
Where my heart doesn’t rely-
On the half-hearted affection of lonely boys-

I dwell in possibility-
Possibility of happiness.

I relish the feeling
Of an empty stomach
Muscles clenching
Head aching
The hollowness distracting
From my barren chest
The tearing pain
Drowning out
The missing sound
Of heartbeats

I relish the feeling of an empty stomach
Because it means that I can still feel

Every time your name
Brushes across my lips
Take a sip

Every time my stomach sinks
At the thought of her hand in yours
Take a sip

Every time I replay
Our last conversation
Take a sip

I wonder when
The game will end

When I have nothing
Left to drink

Or when you finally
Leave me be

I never understood poetry
Until I felt hollow

My tears began to fill
The empty places
That all your kisses left

I drowned in the memories
Waking at night
To the nightmare
Of your last phone call

I never understood poetry
Until I love you became goodbye

I would rather be
Alone
Than be
“loved”
By someone who knows only
Greed

You used to say
The only way
You could ever sleep
Was in my arms
Where the nightmares
Never came

So when did it change
That I was the one
Wandering at night
Running from the monsters
And you were the one
Finding solace in sleep?

I wonder if you found
Other arms to lie in

I became
An ***** donor
Giving you all
I keep inside

But the hollowness
Was filled
With hope
And love

I’d gladly give
You all I have
If it meant
You’d stay forever