They say that the past is in the past, what they say is true but it never exactly fades for you. You don't do what you want when the voice of the person who brought you down lingers in your brain, as you still hear the angry footsteps stomping up the stairs even when you know they're no longer there. That rechid angry face still lingers your mind, you expect a harsh word or strike from anyone so kind, you learn to rely on yourself, you know that no one will show compassion, believe you or lift a finger to help. You close yourself off from the world feeling rejected by society, you were told that you were worthless
It hurts just as worse when they cut your skin while shirtless. Try and make your life at ease, grow older, step out of your comfort zone because you're the one to please.