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 Nov 2016 KAJ
Finley in Despair
You know that saying?
"the only person you can truly rely on
and trust is yourself"

what about when you can't trust yourself?
when your mind deceives you
when you do the unpredictable
when you shock yourself and think
am I really that person?

Does that make you
more alone than being alone?
if loneliness is a feeling of being alone
but you don't have to be alone
to feel lonely
and you can be by yourself
but not feel loneliness at all
then humour me this

If I am by myself and I feel lonely
but I don't know myself tonight
and I don't trust my own presence
I don't feel comfortable at all
in my own company
so I don't have myself to rely on
because I myself, am not myself
am I more than alone?

Am I actually nothing now?
am I here at all?
do the thoughts I'm thinking
belong to somebody else?
do I now have to search the mind
of this man that I do not know
to find clues and remnants
of the person that once filled this body?
am I lost forever?

— The End —