when i was 10,
my father said,
"i'll walk the aisle when you wed. "
when i was 12,
my father unfurled,
"you're dead to me if you like girls."
when i was 14,
my father cried,
"slit those wrists, say goodbye."
when i was 15,
my father did grieve,
"pick up your bags, i need you to leave."
now at 16,
my father is silent.
my home is too far,
my wrists are still violent.
my family is none,
my bones have grown weary.
life's closing my door;
deaths locking the windows,
im trapped in a shell
of homosexual innuendos.

Ever since I was twelve I have
craved
a woman's touch.
Ever since I could remember I have
had a natural mistrust in men.
I have broke the hearts of many
men because it just wasn't
enough.
I need a woman's touch.
So soft yet strong.
Understanding kisses and familiarity.
Same anatomy telling stories in the dark.
Yes, I need a woman's touch.
To hold me and shape me.

~ Triggers ~

The smell of nail polish
High heels on a hardwood floor
Movie kisses and love scenes
The smell of perfume
Hair spray and flowered soap
Orange blossoms and chocolate
Ocean waves and a crackling fire
Gasps, giggles and high pitched laughs
Silk sheets and brass beds
A breath, a touch, a kiss in the dark
Waking up naked, camomile tea
Roses, roses and more roses

All of these things bring joy to my heart
Make me feel like my body and mind aren't apart
Make me long to be someone that I've never been
And give me a reason to wake, and imagine I can

by Lj Mark 2015

~ To all my friends ~

To all my friends that I adore
Whether Trans or CIS or Gay galore
I'm sending my thoughts, best wishes and love
That your lives may have blessings from high above

You're beautiful as you are, in every way
And I admire you all, at the end of the day
I dream that some day, we can all share a hug
And until that day comes, you all have my love

by LJ Mark 2015