Something is trying to
destroy me
from the inside.

and if I wrote a poem about you,
would you ever know?

I don't know,
but you shine so bright

it's impossible not
to feel inspired

I hope I never
lose sight of you.

this warmth
is so precious

and I'm terrified of
snuffing it out

but you
hold me here

and I feel
like I could run

into your arms
any day.

I’m
just
banging
against
the
glass,
trapped
in
a
fishbowl
full
of
*****
water.

Alice, Alice,
little yellow-haired Alice.
falling through the rabbit hole,
drowning in your tears;
take a sip from the golden bottle,
it’ll help you escape your fears.

A small lie
has torn us apart,
broken my heart,
and left me in the dark
again.

Is it really possible that
I could be hiding
a vicious monster
under this bright smile?

Yes.

And suddenly
when I look at you
my heart flutters
in way that it hasn’t done
in a long time.

A storm stuck me today,
and you were the sunshine that
drove it away.

When the star grows old,
does it always explode?
Does it swell and grow,
then
just
BURST?

Or will it simply shrink
and slowly
die?

There’s a warmth in my heart again,
A hole I hope can be filled -
Will he disappear like everyone else?
Or, this time, is it real?

This loneliness
is a painful hollow
in my chest -
There are people who
want to fill it,
but cannot.
So I sit
in this empty pit
and try not to cry.
I don’t know
if I can ever feel
right
again.

They call it high for a reason -
I'm soaring above the grass,
such a vivid shade.
The clouds swirl above me,
and I breathe in the breeze.

I am so sad
and so scared
but I can't let you see,
so I put on a brave face
and a calm voice,
and I guide you through the pain.

The blue is over our heads now,

arms up,

drifting


The cold is settled into my bones now,

brittle and frozen,

breakable.


This feeling is too familiar now,

written many times before,

repetitive.


All I can do is wait for the sun now,

reaching to the surface,

floating.

Why do I suddenly just
want to die?
Why do I feel
like I'm 20 feet underwater,
letting myself sink,
with my tears fading into the sea?

We spoke our hearts last night,
and, ah, you're so gentle and patient.
But how much will that be tested
by my own hidden storm?
I don't want it to drive you away,
nor from guilt should you stay,
I only want the truth today-
Is this love strong enough to withstand
my war?

Sadness is seeping into this cheerful facade,
black water into white cloth,
and soon the world will see the truth.

so many people want to die
and it makes me
want to cry

I hear them again,
the waves lapping at the shore

The tide seeping in,
gradually roaring louder

This isn't right,
it shouldn't be time

The moon doesn't decide
this ocean's fate, though

So it surges wild,
unpredictable and impossible

Lapping at the shore
of my brain, caked in sand

The sun should've been
too strong to feel this cold,

But the wind carries the waves
and a warning I can't ignore

And I know I can hear them,
even feel the salted spray,

Yet I turn my back to the waves,
and break the ocean's rule

They may just finally take me,
and I may just let myself go.

Two chairs, so alone
But, no, they are not alone
They are together.

This is a pocket of safety,
a family not quite mine,
a home so different
from my own.

This is a peek into his past,
a life I didn’t know,
a history I can’t imagine
so different from my own.

This is a glimpse
of what the future may hold,
of people I may better know,
an environment that I can call
home.

Pictures dance in my head
but my pen refuses to bring them to life
So I spill the words instead.

I used to never sleep,
for fear of danger sneaking in,
but now I sleep all too well,
for it is my only escape.

I
can't
stand
this
torture
anymore-
my heart is trapped in an iron maiden,
bleeding out more and more,
I can barely breathe
through this pain.

Why don't I just
explode
already?

Something is stirring
at the edge of my mind -
my fingers, twitching.
I wait for the blurry thought
to come into focus,
to enlighten me with this new
burst
of creativity.

It still sits,
out of focus,
out of reach,
unwilling to give itself to me
so easily.

I pace back and forth
and nibble my nail,
poking and prodding
at the thought,
persistent.

Still it refuses,

Then my mind goes blank.

We could be a time bomb,
but I think I would explode sooner on my own.

I should be
in Dreamland
by now,
engaging in fantastical adventures.
But I stay in the real world,
force my eyes open,
just so I can drift into the gray between
of not awake, not asleep.

I love too much,
and I love too many -
my heart is pulled in several directions,
so that I don't know where it truly belongs.

Mistakes turn me into
a bumbling idiot who can
barely tie her own ******* shoes
alone.

These memories are infected;
cut them all away so I can bleed cleanly.

As I lay to sleep tonight,
a thought creeps into my mind:

If unseen disaster were to
take me from my very bed,

I could die with a smile,
for I sleep beside the one I love;

Yet surely that's such a sad thought,
that they've peddled us violence

The bloodstains are all we've known,
staining the expectations of the crowd

We devour the fear and swallow
the swords so the crowd may gasp

Too bad the sword wasn't quite right,
and the crowd can't see the pain

Until it revels before them,
invites them to dance

So we laugh and take Death's hand
as he weaves us through the fog

But who really leads who?
This dance wasn't asked, just forced

A skeletal hand locked in chains
we refuse to let ourselves see

For this is not the fate we were meant,
this overflow of pain and fear

Our demise inches closer, but
surely it wasn't written so

All we dreamed was to fly and be free,
to forget the chains and aching need

To feel the sun in our souls,
burning too close

Refusing to learn from our lessons,
and repeating it all again.

Sometimes the fear
creeps into my heart;

Those silly little videos,
"I signed up for the biggest heartbreak of my life,"
Oh, trust me, I know.

Because I look at your face
And can see all sides of the sun

The burning bright, the constant shift,
and even the eclipsed one.

The world outside boils,
but my warmth comes from you;

I just can't help but feel the fear
of the rage outside taking me away
from you.