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Walking along the sea side
Finding the perfect spot to go sit and stare out on to the ocean.
The beach white sand making the blue green ocean water standing out ,with the colorful sky in the back-round.
The orange ball of a sun slowly setting and becoming one with the ocean.
The perfect picture moment.
My thoughts are passing one by one like the waves coming through to shore.
It is beautiful and peaceful.
The warmth of the last bit of sun on my skin is like the last kiss before you say goodbye.
Everlasting.
Home sick
Describe love.
I can’t because when I was 5 love was my mom taking care of two kids alone.
It was working hard and struggling but having each other. It was having the bare minimum but having everything at the same time. Love was sacrificing. When I was 8 love was seeing my dad for holidays spending days with him. It was watching movies and laying by him. It was going to fun places. Love was making time. When I was 10 love was my mom meeting my stepdad (my dad)
It was a complete stranger not just falling in love with a woman but with her kids.
It was downloading movies and bringing it every time he came to visit and watch it with us.
It was inviting us into his home. And calling it ours. Love  is unconditional. It was all we needed.
When I was17 I met a boy , my first real “love”. It was fun and puppylove . Here love was heart break lessons. When I was 19 I met my closest friends. Had some crazy times. They helped me be more me. I started new things and liked it. It was mature friends that acted like kids sometimes.Love was growing. I met another boy. He is my bestfriend.Love is taking a chances
I’m sitting in a corner all tucked in
My body is physically aching
I’m feeling sick my stomach is turning
It is so cold
I can hear my heart beating so fast that it might jump out of my chest.
I can’t breath.
My hands are shaking
I can’t scream
No sound is entering or exiting the room
It is 4 AM and the world is asleep
And I
I am in pain.
Anxiety attacks are not fun.
Overthinking feeds it.
Sometimes you just have to pretend
That everything is okay and you are fine
So that the last bit of light you have makes a difference in someone else’s life.
Sometimes you just have to pretend so that others feel like they have a chance to speak.
I have been pretending for so long that I don’t even know what I actually feel.
My light is drained.
The flame is fading
It is getting dark.
Maybe I should scream
I pray to God that he gives me the gift of love.
For myself.
For my family.
For my partner.
On days where I can’t even look them in the eyes that they know I love them.
On days where screaming is the only thing I can do that love overtakes.
I pray that I get the gift of healing.
On days that feel like storms that I can be shelter instead of the chaos.
Just some words
Unaware of what you're saying
You show affection
Unaware of the depth of your words
You open yourself to danger

The function of the heart is to pump blood through your body
It allows you to live
Breathe

But
If your heart becomes toxic
You no longer
Live
Breathe
Easily

Beware of the threats of choosing hearts
They can be detrimental to your everything or sometimes beneficial.
I looked at the photo and saw your sorrow eyes and blemished face.
I saw how tired you were and destroyed.
what was once a rock is now sand
Pieces of you are falling apart and crumbling down your face.
What was once a beautiful smile is now lonely lips.
Sad how you use to find some people beautiful and now you see the real them
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