i want to be your saturday morning coffee

every touch was a taunt

your hand behind your back
palm up, touching
touching her hand, her back, her hair

i tried to look away but i couldn't help it
i am drawn to you
      like a moth to light
      like black & white

there is no grey in what i feel for you

foggy concert lights echoed euphoria

dancing alone
dancing with him
in my mind,
we were one in that moment

so far apart, yet so close
a distant day dream

a dream we were at that concert together,
swaying to the melody, grasping on to each word like they meant something
like i meant something
like i could ever mean anything to him

The fog in the lights echoed euphoria

You,
dancing to the beat of the drum in an open space

Me,
wanting  to dance within your space
Sway to the melody with your hand in mine
With your hand on my waist,
With your hand in the air
singing along to every word

If I closed my eyes it’s like we were

You,
standing there a few inches away
Me,
wanting so badly to grab your waist,
               your hand

and sing along to every word

Growing up your parents always made sure you knew that they loved you. Mom would walk up the stairs and say, “ Goodnight, i love you” and you would respond, “love you more” and a fight about who could possibly love the other more would endure.

These days, I know she loves me, but its not said as much. We don't fight about who says "i love you more" last.  She doesn't know me as well as she used to. She doesn't see what I’m going through. She’s blinded by the fact that she "loves me to the moon and back "

and she feels like that should be enough..

I can't remember the exact words you uttered into my ear that night on the phone. All I remember is the feeling i got, i was giddy. I think you said, “my birthday wish is for you to get here now” but i also think maybe you said “yall” and i just hoped you meant me..

I’m scared that I’ll let you down
That I won’t be what you need me to be
I won’t be what you think I am
I’m scared that I could never be fully vulnerable with you, emotionally or intimately
So, I’ll take my cowardly heart and save you from the heartbreak that is bound to come out of this