I know you have not a clue
for what to say.
I'm sorry for all the times
I ruined your day.
Being normal is the hardest things
on my agenda.
While surrounded by unfamiliar folks,
I won't pretend to be a.
Fake people into thinking I am a goddess,
but if I don't all what's left is a hot mess.
I can't pretend anymore,
I can't hide in the shadows alone.
You can laugh at me all you want
as my face changes expression while I'm in my
zone.
I grow up
though I'm differently changing.
My mind holds on
but my body is aging.
So don't worry about me.
Move on,
be good to yourself.
I know you are concerned
but I just can't give you thanks
for trying to help.
Treat me how you treat
anyone with a brilliant mind.
I'm not a mess,
I'm just one of a kind.
I'm very hard to find.

If I look forward,
I over think.
If I look back,
I cry.
When I think about what I did wrong,
I stare at my current image in the mirror,
and Sigh.
All I can do
to give everything thrown at me a better
try.
Mentality screws me sometimes,
not gonna lie.
Creates these expectations
that later die.
Karma kicks herself in,
but why?
Mentality
will go away
after I take a breath
and sigh.
And just let it all
fly.

They say it is never too late to do the right thing.
Will it be awkward to reach out one last time?
It isn't fair if one is benefited
and one isn't.
Or is it?
What shall I do for the ones I let go by mistake?
Should those who have cut me out of the picture
be aware of my forgiveness?
I never know where to start.
It always occurs that they know
where to
end.
Is one in control of every relationship?
Who is really taking the picture?
Holding a camera
seeing how the image will appear.
The flash representing the moment.
The friendship photoshopped,
the antagonist cropped out by the
protagonist.
Who has the right to cut anyone out?
Where do these rights come from?
How do these images not burn for some?
Is it me
or
the camera.
What am I doing wrong?

Never will I consider anyone who admires me
a God.
Those who admire me thus not rare,
but not many have given their gifts and time to me.
Don't ever define me
by the plaid in my wardrobe,
guitar notes on my playlists,
black nail polish,
and the innocent jokes I create.
Find me the best you can.
To anyone who could never be satisfied through the ruins of my
nonsense,
know,
that there was a point,
you meant,
the world
           to me.

There will be no message sent to any hearts
as I tear up at 3 AM.
Has this holiday punished me with guilt
on your behalf?
I know we moved on.
I get that you are not thinking of me.
Please try to remember the good things we said.
I never wanted you out of my life.
You may be gone,
though there is still a sight of you
and all you taught me.
Good luck,
and never change.
I'll miss you.

Though it had to be you to say it to
my eyes
thou not ready for love.
I may have cried then,
I can breathe now.
Knowing my heart was never
broken.
You took so much away from me.
Something no one,
not even you can give back to me.
I stayed with you
how I thought that is what
my heart was calling
for happiness to ****** the guilt of pleasure.
I'll have to get my pride back
due to your behaving of a hypocrite
since we left our love behind.
I'll go forward on my own.
Retrieve my happiness, and freedom.
Even
if you are no longer
a part of
my life.