inhale, exhale
i’m just choking on air
each breath reminds me
i’m living—but not really
just breathing enough to exist

fake smiles
white lies
empty desires

i’m lost in the
endless layers
of your mask

bodies untouched
gazes unmet
promises unkept

i found nothing
in the insincerity
of your love

I painted you
in all the corners
of my mind and
I fell more in
love each day
with 𝚢̶𝚘̶𝚞̶
the idea of you

we sing our love—
      are we in the same key?
the notes seem to fall flat
      our hearts are missing chords
                                         why can’t I ever match your tempo?
                        the harmonies sound dissonant—
                                   as if we’re doing our own solos
         we dance, trying not to step
                on each other but somehow
                            we are always a little
                                                                ­   offbeat

I’m hopelessly in love
with being in love—
the way it scares me yet
makes me feel brave
the way it breaks me yet
makes me feel healed
the way it kills a part of me yet
makes me feel alive