The judge and the lawyer,
They are both me,
I defend myself,
As I condemn myself,
I am witness,
I am the murderer,
I am the defender,
I am the guilty,
Death penalty,
Or walking free,
The decison is,
Completely up to me.

U gly
N uisance
W orthless
A shamed
N o one
T ired
E mpty
D istant

I don’t want to slip away,
Not when I’m with you
But I cannot control this,
This disconnection
The cords snap
Between my head and soul
So that I’m not quite here,
Not quite there
Honestly, I’m not quite
Anywhere
And then you look at me
Ask if I’m okay
You know
there’s something not quite right with me
You feel me slip away
But the me that’s not me lies
And she tells you I’m okay
Even as I drift away
Further and further from the truth of the day
Don’t let me slip away

I feel so detached,
So empty,
So lonely,
I feel so alone,
So tired,
So broken,
I feel such lethargy,
Such pain,
Such worthlessness,
I want to die,
To be alone,
To fade away,
I'm sorry for lying,
For hurting,
For being a horrible friend.

They say "Think of something that keeps you going."
"Think of someone you love who you can live for."
"Hold on to something you love."
But, I have nothing. And that just reminds me more,
Of why I want to **** myself.

It’s funny, sort of
Every one of us here, at least most of us here, are alike in one way

We all share the same secret

Push your hair to the side, lean closer
I’ll whisper what you’ve refused to know in your ear

It isn’t good for us here

After all, catharsis works in both ways
We’re throwing our darkest soul corners out at these screens
Hour by wasted hour, the horror we relieve is refilled by haywire empathy

Why would we stay, you ask?
It’s an addiction, impossible to stay away

Imagine no rush of sharing, no reveling in thought,
No hiding in the words of others

We’re drawn back to these alphabet keys
The poetry of life haunting us all,
Chasing us through our deepest pain, herding us toward revelations we won’t understand
Controlling the world we see

We repress this whisper of truth, of course
We all know we’re not going to stop

But shhh! This is a
Secret
        Secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone.