Insanity is not being mentally ill
It's being mentally twisted
It's when you've been dragged in so much hate
Drowned in anger
Beaten with pain
      Until.
                .
                  .
         ­           .
You finally break
And you can't take it anymore
So you stop reaching for the sanity found in society
And reach for the darkness found in the back of your brain
Always waiting for you...
What was once a flame
Was doused into a wisp of smoke...
What was once a roaring wave
Has settled into a silent river
What what was sanity
Has mutated into insanity...

Don't think I'm being mean to you
Because I don't like you
Don't think I hate you
Because I give you the cold shoulder
Don't think I can't stand you
Because you're wrong
I actually like you, i like being around you
I don't hate you
I'm just in the middle of playing pretend
I'm pretending that I don't have a heart
Because the best way to not get you're heart broken
Is to pretend you don't have one...

I sit alone at night
Under the whispering rays of moonlight
A bottle in one and in the other, a picture of you
It took you 3 years to notice
That my mask was fading, and my tears were growing
You asked "Are you okay?"
But there is no emotion in the words you said
I am fine
"but you were crying"
Crying?
No, I cannot cry
They are not tears
They are just my emotions
The ones that have been falling for years

No one has ever asked
So no one ever knows
How do I feel
It's like I speak in codes
For one I am tired
Of crying and yelling
Of being sad and pretending
Of being alone and angry
Of feeling stuck and angry
Of needing help and remembering
Of being different and missing thing
                                  
                                                                ­  I AM TIRED...
                                                        ­                                                    I am tired of being stepping stones
                                                          ­                                                           Of being forgotten and alone
                                                           ­                                                         I tired of all the pain and hurt
                                                            ­                                                         Of being treated just like dirt
                                                            ­                                         I am tired of wanting the easy way out
                                                             ­                                                                Of being pushed around
                                                          ­           TIRED
                        T-
                        I-
     ­                   R-
                        E-
                ­        D-
T - tired of being tormented
I- tired of trying to impress
R- tired of my rage
E- tired of my emotions
D- tired of death

                                                          ­       I AM TIRED
                                                           ­                                             I am tired of sickness that haunts me
                                                              ­                                       I am tired of my own brain that taunts
                                                          ­                                                                 ­ Of being called a coward
                                                          ­                                                                 ­    Of feeling overpowered
                                                     ­                                                           I'm tired of look beyond the bad
                                                             ­                                                                 ­    I'm tired of being sad
                                                             ­                                       I am tired of all the burden to my stress
                                                          ­                                                                 ­   I'm tired of all this mess
                                                            ­                                                           I'm tired of feeling worthless
                                                       ­                                                            I'm tired of having no purpose
                                                         ­ I AM TIRED
I am tired of setting my goals aside
I am tired of the saying "I tried"
I am tired of ending up as a last choice
I am tired of feeling remorse
I am sick and ******* tired of life........
                        always getting the best of me....
                                                          ­                                        I am tired of wondering "what could be"
                                                          I AM TIRED
I am tired of endless hope
I am tired of being the world's biggest joke
                                                          I AM TIRED
                                                           ­                                       I am tired of being tired because you see
Being tired caused these endless emotions...
                                                     ­                                                                 ­                            Out of me...
                                             I AM TIRED OF BEING ME
                                CAN YOU HEAR MY EMOTIONS NOW?
                                        DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL?
                              OR DO YOU CHOOSE NOT TO NOTICE
                                                          ­    I AM ...
                                                             ...TIRED

I can act strong
I can act like  I can face the world alone
BY myself...
But to be honest....
Sometimes, i like being held close
I like to cry sometimes...
I like to let out my pain....
I'm sometimes fragile
i'm sometimes easy to break...
I just don't show it...
             until....



I'm alone at the end of the day...

To all the strictly classic mothers and fathers out there
Who hold a glass in hand
And gets everything their child wants handed to them on a silver platter
.
.
.
.
*******
Please don't expect me to say s-o-r-r-y
Because that word doesn't exist in my vocabulary
I don't care that I don't act like your ****** children
I don't care that my parents don't own successful companies like you do
I don't care that I have the newest clothes, or the newest bags, or shoes
I'm just fine with the worn down sneakers I wear
I'm fine with my personality
I'm fine with my life
So could you kindly please do me a favor, and shove you high class manners up your ***...





                                                     ­       Thank you.