Look at the world, you may find
Sunshine, rainbows, fantastic mankind
But when you actually examine
You'll find even more than just famine
I'm talking death, suffering, immeasurable grief
All caused by people, to people, no disbelief
Yes when you take everything in
All that'll happen is the beast will maul you and grin
Because we humans are curious beings
We ****** and steal; **** and we ****, all without seeing
The affect of our devastation
Mother nature the victim of our molestation
Animals being made just to die
I think we are all on a power high
We proclaim we are better than all else
But in reality we are just tiny whelps
On some great being's mighty ***
You say, "Now don't be so crass!"
Yet we glutinously eat anything living
Doesn't that sound like a horror beginning?

Her hair falls upon her shoulders gentler than the soothing waves of the ocean on a midsummer's evening.
Her eyes shine so bright as she looks back to me with a grin, oh her smile. Brings me back to times where I thought everything was alright in this world.
The dimples on her cheeks are just inviting my lips to them and my hands to her hips. She walks to me with such grace like a ballerina.
We meet and our lips graze each other, she bites her lower lip inviting me to her. I lean in for a kiss and get lost in her face.
We kiss repeatedly as we fall onto the couch with her on top of me.
I look up to her and for a split second I see nothing but a skull in the place of her beautiful face.
I blink it away and get my focus back to her.
She asks what’s wrong in a distorted voice and I hit my head, getting those images out, pushing them deeper.
She separates her lips and roaches crawl out and down her face onto me. I scream and fall off the couch swatting the insects away.
I look up to where she still lays and see my beautiful girl once again. I get up, apologizing for my moment, blaming it on exhaustion and laying down with her again.
I feel a sharp pain on my wrists and flinch, closing my eyes shut, and when I open them I am bleeding out on the floor of my parents room.

The sting
the sharp tinge of the razor as it first slices into me
The Crimson
that first strand of blood trickles out
The agony
the sweet pain that pumps happiness through my veins
The finish
the ending of the stroke with the drop of my blade
The darkness
that creeps in from the edges as the blood becomes a stream
The regret
the absence of it, the joy of finally out running the pain

"Do to others
As you want done to yourself"
Says the mothers
Sitting on that high bookshelf

Looking down, unaccepting
As you ****,
Her with one deadly swing
"Just rules, Jill"

The problem with that rule,
The big flaw,
My want to die, so cruel,
Breaks that law

It must be something else, maybe from the outside,
Apathy in vitro, there's no way it came from inside,

Maybe from a test tube, or maybe a special cask,
There's no way to explain it, an impossible task,

The care I have for anything, is almost to zero,
My only wish is not to feel, maybe I need a hero,

If a car comes barreling at me, I wouldn't be moved,
that concerned voice inside of me, has been removed,

If anything happens to me, you can be all too sure,
I probably deserved it, my worthlessness has no cure,

A small place in hell, reserved just for me,
I'm just an empty shell, don't even want to flee.

Is there a God?
Or should I say god?

I hope there's a God, he can help me survive
I hope there isn't a god, he put me through this life

I can forgive God, he probably did it for a reason
I hate god, there is no excuse for this treason

I love God, he made the earth, the stars, the sea
I resent god, he made the bullies, the pain... me

When we are young it starts
We go to school nearly 8 hours a day

When does life begin?

Well, after school
Then why do I go home with homework

When does life begin?

Perhaps, following that
Yet I'm exhausted and must get rest

When does life begin?

The weekends then, right after Friday
Oh, sorry I have to work and pay for my food

When does life begin?

After all that the real stuff starts
Like work, bills, and taxes?

When does life begin?

Well maybe when you finally retire
So when I'm old, disabled, and nearly dead?

That's when life begins?