i envy the stars,
the way you would stare at them and smile
how you looked so longingly toward them
you wanted to join them
and then you tried.
in your trying, you did not reach them.
you stayed here, on this rotting rock, stuck with me.
your smile has gone away forever. you dont laugh anymore.

i wish i had never let you envy me.
like i envy you
and envy the great shining lights that surround us.

If I were a painter
I would capture your likeness
When sat under yellow light
Playing games at the table
Or bathed in the flickering glow
Of a campfire underneath the night’s sky
Your skin a playing field
For different shades of red
So I might remember
With perfect clarity
Your contour that I could see
Sitting opposite of you

I sip no more.
Not because I quit
Not because it's forbidden by the hands that raised me
Nor because I mind drinking alone.

Though the taste lingers in my mind
Warm, a fire that once danced down my throat
My feet unsteady, lost in search of the bathroom
'Cause the world spun in circles
Laying down became a brilliant escape
And eyes closed, sinking deeper into the aftertaste
Strangely, it all felt so good.

But no...
I sip no more.
The taste fades
Along with your existence.

if i were dead,
what circle of hell would i call home?

she was tranquility in the morning’s early,
  moonbeams dripping red lights
and her eyes shifting softly,
she’s my favorite time of day when she smiles and moans
whispers and sees
she’s my favorite time of day
wrapped in moonbeams
dripping red lights
in my solitude and hers
my peace
   in her...

I thought we would be done by now.

But I keep finding more of you
between the lines
and more of me
between the letters.

Deep pains leave the best scars
Like braille on your skin

Follow the story as you feel your way
Through a history written on thin sheets