I want to die
not in the way that I’m supposed to,
Cause I never do what i’m supposed to.

I want to rot in the corner of someone’s conscience,
Like the lost friend from your childhood
Loved, forgotten and ignored
But undeniably present.
I want to be forgotten
like the scream muffled under a party song,
like a suicide note
burned before it was read,
Or never found,

Not a name forgotten,
but a name mispronounced
Or just on the tip of your tongue
By someone who pretends to care
By someone's mind that is painted red,
With my blood, but no guilt,
As I must always forgive
I don’t want a eulogy,
I want to be the glitch in a childhood memory,
the static between the channels,
the reason you pause mid-laugh
and feel sick for no reason.

When I disappear,
let it be like ink bleeding through your skin,
beautiful and wrong,
disgusting but permanent.

Let me go like a sin you almost confessed.

You kissed my scars..
Then mocked the blood.

You wanted a girl,
To replace the one you lost
Not grief
Not pain,
Not me.

You saw my soul,
and flinched..
I cried and begged for you,
Till I choked on my poison which was you,
And you said, “too much.”

I shattered and you said I was too loud,
I begged,
You lied,
I broke.

I love you,
The way Icarus loved the sun
To close,
Too much.

I wouldn’t mind if it killed  me,
For in my eyes,
There is no tragedy in burning for you.

Let the flames kiss my skin,
Let the light blind me whole.
If loving you means ruin,
Then ruin is the sweetest fate I know.

Just like Icarus,
I’d die for you,
I’d abandon all,
Just for you