I'm trying to wear a smile like a lilac stuck in a fire. I only ever seem to burn brighter ignited by the lighter and fuel that was her heart and her love. I found enough of myself in another person's shadow, the shallow skin deep love I didn't know I was holding. The moments were golden but now they slip by me, I tell myself to keep fighting but these memories seem to burn with the lilacs. My back is broken by all the weight of the broken hearts I am forced to carry. The memories we built in photographs and celebrations all ignited into ash and dust in the winds, all within a mere second and do I regret it? If she was to break my heart again, in less than a breath, I will give all that I have left to her.

The curse of being so unattractive have taught me a few things,
the hurt that comes with it only ever seems to get worse.
The first reminded me of how stained yellow my teeth were,
I thought for sure there wasn't going to be a second.
I had better luck guessing as there was a second after the first,
the curse continues on and so did my lessons.
Blessings in disguise are better left untouched
because although I was enough, enough isn't just good enough,
the love she felt for me subsided within mere months,
so I learnt to never be too invested into something so short lived.
I'll give myself a cookie if that was where my classes ended
but I befriended a girl who mended my broken heart
but time drove us apart as she found herself a new job
and I a new hobby. I'd lobby against the idea of not trying enough,
but frankly we were both too lazy to make any of it work.
The perks of having a heart that is resilient enough to damage
is being able to take savage heartbreaks one after another,
my brother helped me see that I probably was the problem
as my relationships ended so often, it was a clear patten.
I couldn't fathom the idea that I was solely responsible
till I met a girl through modern day digital means,
I mean I haven't met her face to face but the thought was there
I bared my soul to this girl and I guess this time distance
drove us to listen to other things in life. That and blood parasites
are dangerous things. Lesson 5: Don't **** with blood parasites.
Which leads me to my last and final lesson of learning to not hurt
I fear it has only gotten worse when I think of-
how much I currently miss her.
The fissure that seems to break bits and parts of my life,
I'm trying to stop mid-strife but the point is that
sometimes you can love a hundred people
this evil thing exists in this world where things just don't work out,
you can hold thousand of doubts but if it is meant to be,
it will be.
The most important lesson I can ever give anyone
is to treasure those around you before they are long gone,
the same old song seems to sing in kids show
of how we should love everyone we know,
but frankly the truth is; if that one person is right enough,
if they're willing to try hard enough,
a volcano is just a hot mountain,
an earthquake is just the ground having a dance party
and a Tsunami is just the fishes way of saying "let's have fun".

Footnote: My lessons may be totally inaccurate as it is something you have to experience, go out there and get your heart broken as much as you can, it is the only way you will learn.

The bottle on my lips
like the kiss of a thousand stars
all so far from where I am.
The chocolate on my tongue
sprung the feelings of a hundred hugs
enough to raise warmth in my skin.
I'm akin to the fluttering fireflies
who light up the night just right.
I'm akin to the swaying trees
that sweeps its leaves off the branches.
I'm akin to the chirping cicadas
who has not yet croaked its last croak.
I'm akin to the wind that travels under my coat,
the obvious quote that is travel alongside the winds-
and feel the tingling on your skin-
tonight may be long but tomorrow is coming.

What if the internet was one of god's misconceptions,
a planet living in wifi connections trying so hard to stay connected
that the affected tends to roam their lives along cable lines
like the fable tides that seem to sweep everything in its path
except this time there isn't an ark nor a Noah to make a difference.
The interest of the mass is on what is trending and what is fashionable
a passable phase that seem to live and die in a short life span.
Along with the internet, society gave birth to cyber bullies and trolls
who rip holes out of an already shaking foundation
the basement and the attic aren't where we find shadows lurking
but through surfing the internet.

We have created monsters who roam bits and bytes of data
reaching victims faster than they have ever done so before,
we shut the doors to our kids lives and health
when we say "just close the computer, they'll go away"
because to this day, I have yet to see the benefits of shutting down
when shutting out is only keeping ourselves locked in with them.
They never go away, they lurk behind keystrokes
created to evoke suffering and pain amongst the greatest
because hate is something that is only ever taught.

Like many things in life,
Problems occur.
Problems which we are
Meant to learn from.

Like many things in life,
Difficulties arise.
Difficulties that we can
All overcome together.


For better or for worse
the latter is more common,
for worse happens way too often,
the problems we face don't fade.

We live in this prison called life
difficulties arise as we slowly walk
to our demise,we fill our minds
that there are ways we can escape.


The hardships of life
Are only a small part of the
Vivid painting that is life.
We are the complete image.

Though we may have tears,
Rips, piercings, and smudges,
We are still full of wonder and
Our minds are full of light.


**We embrace the order
we border on uniformity
awfully we are digging ourselves
in shelves of debt and depression.

Life is a vivid painting,
staining the realisation that death,
that the last breath taken
and the needless pain is imminent.