Shrouded in deep purple fear and billowing clouds of crimson shame,
I sat on the floor, a trembling moth in still air.
I swallowed. The taste of bile remained.
My warmth flowed out of my body into the icy bathroom tiles, escaping rapidly through cracks in my split-open soul.
She sat beside me, quiet, waiting.
After an eternity, I nodded to her with a shaky breath.
She helped me gently off the floor and guided me to her bed, tucking herself behind me to become my tight cocoon.
With my head rested against her chest, I heard her blood pounding through her, but her breaths were slow, controlled.
The fibers of my muscles remained tense, straining to compensate for my spirit - raw, exposed, vulnerable.
Her small, soft fingers ran through my tangled hair,
drips of golden honey appearing as she began to hum.
Her radiant honey oozed from the smooth, full notes of her voice and dripped between sharp fragments of my shattered porcelain.
The clock tutted at us from the wall, approaching the third hour of morning, but she held my shards together tenderly and unhurried.
The fight drained from me as she sang her sweet melody.
A puddle of purple and crimson beneath me. Pieces, tenderly held.
Her pure, glimmering honey meandered through my etched cracks and between my too-prominent ribs to replace my purple and crimson.
She sang the life back to me, held me together with her sturdy grace.
She waited as the liquid gold began to solidify and I began to feel closer to whole once more.
She - who loves me laughing, who loves me dancing - loves me messy, too.

first wake up
after my first break up

she was my first kiss for love's sake
she left a little emptiness in her wake
but mostly just relief
and opportunity to turn a new leaf

lights kept off
in the shower
have you heard this one before?


find a mirror,
watch me cower,
I'm sure you've heard this one before.


bold in public,
hiding something?
this one shakes me to the core.

lesbian is not a swear word
it's not ***** or absurd
but even now it's hard to say
and that makes me feel unheard.
society seems to think
perhaps it is some creepy man's kink
so I considered the sound an obscenity
the word itself deviltry
instead of an identity.
therefore I steadily
rejected my tendency
to find girls hard to resist
because it felt like weaponry,
when two girls kissed
instead of just a way people like me exist

Bees by the river
butterfly wings quiver
wind in the trees
her eyes full of dreams
cause as she sat in the flowers
bathed in sunlight for hours
her world was at peace
and the hummingbird seemed
to know

I make cheap Mc Food for you and her
But don't have too much unless you'd prefer
that I become your Mc Murderer

through your forest of pills
I look on with chills,
watching you navigate life's biggest hills;
The day's ever closer
that you'll need a donor,
far in the future if luck comes with clovers.
I hope I can heal your body,
and be your mending patch.
I hope to be your carbon copy,
so that I can be your match.

I love the way you touch my skin
and smile in the face of sin
gliding, graceful fingertips
I need your soft kiss on my lips

Our chances at heaven are at this point risky
but hell's just gonna be one big party
I'd rather kiss ***** in blazing hell
than sit in heaven under God's dull spell

Let our lipstick mix
as we sweetly disgrace the crusafix;
what's more divine
than the way our fingers intertwine
as we watch the moon shine
and drink satan's red, red wine

I'm free
happily bathed in masculinity
makeup feels okay now
dresses are fine somehow
it's like it makes up for
the girliness
with a little splash of free
and happy masculinity

long hair was suffocating
now I feel myself breathing
pink feels less toxic
lipstick's less obnoxious

now I'm living freely
with just a little butch masculinity

Like velvet and silk,
Satin and ruffles,
All greens and browns,
The colors richer than truffles.
All this new grass, shining with dew
Imagine this  -
It's all for me and you.
Songbirds sing,
Flowers grow too.
No one to find it,
Just me and you.

Mirrors scare me
Because whatever person I may see
It's never quite who I want to be

I don't have much fat left, I know this much
But when I pinch my skin between my fingers
I can barely see it as such
And as long as I linger
In front of the dreaded mirror
I can never quite see
Myself as thin as I want to be

Sometimes I struggle to make myself eat
As much as I know I need
Because as soon as I cheat
And let myself eat
My abs are gone and I proceed
To approach the mirror
And see even clearer
Exactly what I don't want to see

"Why won't you let me
pick you up?"
"Don't you want some of this cake?"
Can't you see?
I'm much too heavy,
If only mentally.

I'm mentally heavy
Mirrors don't help me
Mirrors scare me

The night was dark. Pitch black as ebony. Thick, putrid clouds, swirling yet stagnant, a confused cloud of shadows, chaotic and ugly. The repulsive, murky mist of lies and darkness seemed to smother the filthy ghost of a once-white mansion
The seemingly sinister gas brewed like a storm, disturbing and convoluted as a filthy pond - the waters stirred darkly as pungent, coal-black mud was upset by unseen forces, the clarity and sweetness of prestine water now a distant memory. Echoing cries for restoration long since drowned out by the low, droning roar of the turmoltuos, all consuming cloud of despair.
But then -
But then, through the tarr black haze, where all hope was lost
But then, through the tarr black haze, a clear, pure note.
The sound of a distant trumpet, a battle cry, a chorus of distant, thundering feet pounding against the dusty roads, angry.
Angry, angry people, but angry was not all these people were.
Angry, angry, but these people who would become our saviors were hopeful.
Clear, blue passion, streaked crimson with fury.
They radiated from these people, protests.
These people cared. And with this care the people began to clear the stagnant water of lies and immorality, closer and closer to the crystal, sparkling pool of idealism.
And though the water never sparkled as much as the eyes of these people did when they spoke of their hopes and dreams, these people were satisfied, having made the lives of the people around them just that much better. And how? Oh, just a dash of passionate action.