When all I thought I had was love.
He came and slipped through my
Fingers, festering at my feet like sand
That was slowing pulling me under.

When all I had was laughter
I throw back my head
Open my mouth and
Find his words spilling out.
My own laughter wasn't even mine.

I opened my chest to replace the thing
He broke, only to find that it had never
Truly existed. He walks away in the desert
Holding my blood, dripping through his fingers
But I never seemed to have bled.

I am losing my mind.
Everything we had together
I find it written in fairytales
On parchment paper
With ****** ink.

I was listening to the other girls
When they talked of love
And I slipped and hit my head
Thinking that I had found it too
I was wrong.

You are in all the words I write.
You are hidden in the bookshelves
Of my mind,
Like bookmarks forgotten amongst
The pages.
Chapters scratched and pages torn
From constant reading.

You are in all my poems
But as I try to imagine
Knowing you in real life
As I am. Someone different now.
I cannot recall your face
Or begin to spell your smile.
The words I felt when loving you
Have gone out my mind
Like they were nothing but air.

I remember what it felt like to be rejected.
Desperate and confused.
Hurt and alone.
But as for the taste of your skin.
The paragraphs of love I actually felt...
Something is tearing them out of me.
All I am left with is an anthology
Of emotions and memories
I am no longer connected to.

I am trying to rewrite the story
Of you to put to rest
But
Our final draft nowhere near
My completion.