Depression is not poetic
it is not beautiful
when examined under
pale moonlight

it is not something one should strive for
in order to be understood
in order to connect
with their temporarily sad peers

Depression is a continous thought
flowing from your fingertips
and vibrating in your eardrums
when you are wide awake at 3 a.m.
devising a plan to sleep forever

why do people think that
admitting to a neverending onslaught of internal battles
is glamorous?
do they not know that happiness
sits comfortably on the tips of their noses,
an arm’s reach away?

I dream of a world
in which teenage girls
eat three times a day
without using their fingers
as a garbage disposal
just so they can match
society’s standards of
‘pretty’.

I dream of a world
in which teenage boys
do not overload themselves
on some mechanical
technological machine
just so they can match
society’s standards of
‘strong’.

I crave a world
in which I am not artificial
in which I do not need pills
to smile.

I crave a world
in which we can all laugh;
a world in which
we actually live and breathe
rather than
exist and ruin;
a world in which
‘Depressed’
‘Pretty’
‘Hot’
‘Manly’
are simply adjectives
and not definitons
of who we are.

my boyfriend.

he's like the pen
to my notepad

the pie to
My cherry

the warmth
to my cold

the apple
to my eye

breathless when
he takes a pen
and draws on
my sensitive skin

he draws butterflies
outlines them
like tattoos
he makes art
seem so beautiful
his creative flair
is so full of ambition
how he traces prints
on my skin

so gentle yet I feel it
the love of my life
is such a passionate
artist

He has that electric soul
That makes me lose control

i say i hate pain, yet i dwell on it.
i am a self-confessed hypocrite.
living for destruction of one's self.
not living for me but for someone else.

this makes self-hate sound artistic.
trust me, it's definitely not.
didn't ask to become this.
change sorta happened.

i am not my old self.
that part of me is on the shelf.
in the body of someone else.

last night was amazing
she makes life worth living
feels like i've got my friend back
and our friendship is on track

she said i was the greatest treasure
that she could have ever wished to find
and said that i always save her life
she gives me butterflies
inside me, they flutter

that girl never fails to make me smile
she is one of the blessings of my life
my happiness scale rises up high
when she speaks to me
we're talking again tonight
i feel so excited and happy