This mind seems so power for the you I conjured in front of me looks so real we could breathe the same air
Every detail, carefully thought out
Every word spoken, left me mesmerised
Every action, I hung onto
Your imperfection unrecognisable to these  blinded eyes

You inspired a me like no other, or rather forced a me like no other
For I lost control of thought and autonomy
I became a puppet at your disposal pulled by the string of the heart
A man that overflowing at your sight, one that  would find a way to rip the oceans to reach you
A person that felt invincible, because this amour  was made from the strongest of emotions and forged in the deepest of connection

How this faded soul yarns for the warmth once felt as our bodies contorted round each other
feeling like a incomplete puzzle till our picture came to life
You and I interlinked, our very fabric of being woven till were you began and I finished became undistinguishable

I infected by your laugh, replay that melody
To the point the way your lips curled and pressed together when you smiled is a living image etched
I remember the way your touch pulsating through me, turning skin tones vibrant
A reflection of the feeling manufactured only by you
Your moods flashed red and pink a blended hue all to well I knew
But now mine sits broken on blue

That human lays buried in the past, because the those words that poured from your mouth was to me you picking up your shovel and scattering the embers of us
each sentences uttered seemed like the very dirt tossed upon that human
I repeat the word human because no more would I be able to identify that version of myself
A being lost in the void of endless, all consuming heartache.

Drained
energy levels are sinking
Previously yarning to come
With ideas of the night racing round and round


Stranded
While people converse and dance
I remain glued to the wall in the corner
saying I'm good for the sake of others
Or for my preservation


How does one strike balance
No longer enjoying yourself
Because as you replays the night…
Only short words and broken smiles
Small talk and handshakes.


Visualising
the numerous outcomes was I to break free the chains of inward isolation
Picture what true desire burst to the surface
But if there is no need to act upon such emotion
Then is it more a fleeting thought
like walking past someone,
their face turned blurry as they can’t be separated from the pool of forgotten masses


Interactions are currency
Every conversation a coin snatched from the hand
Till I’m left spent leading me to pull away
And so I remain glued to the wall in the corner
Saying I’m good for the sake of other
My mask bolted shut.
Wilting in the darkness.

What is the point of getting drunk
Like it doesn't make sense to me
Why drink to the point you stumble
Why drink to the point you can't speak

Sentences half formed as the words sluggishly leave the lips laced seamlessly with the poison of alcohol,
smell of alcohol hugs tightly it seeming as though the words were being choked,
your message diluted in slurs and repetition.

The burning sensation as is slivers down the windpipe
The heat radiating through the chest dispersing to all corners of the body
This feeling is meant to feel good
This feeling is meant to be addictive
This feeling is meant to be the reason people drink?

Or is the reason people drink the effect
It causes you to forget slipping in and out of consciousness,
Memories half baked turning minutes to hours and hours to seconds,
Momentary flashes of event passed with no sense of order that must be pieced together the morning after
They drink to escape.

"I don't drink" is what I want to tell you
That me being able to distill, filter and brew on this topic lead to some sort of realisation,
That I don't conform to peer pressure or give in as I too fear of missing out,
So as I continue to live I also become addicted to society’s legal drug.
What’s your reason to drink?