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356 · Jul 2018
Nonexistent Life
Look down.
Keep your head down as much as possible;
they're judging you.
No one wants to see your face.
I wish I could wear a mask;
be invisible.
Walk through the halls without being seen,
go unnoticed.
“No one notices you.”
I know but...
just to not exist,
not to go through the embarrassment
of just being there.
Tiny glances meaning nothing
but feeling like everything.

Blank faces.
If only they could all just be
blank faces.
Faces that don't judge.
Mysterious and dark but not judgemental.
No eyes so I don't know what they think of me;
no analyzing,
no sneering.
Just faces that I can't compare myself to.
Faces with no emotion so they can't:
laugh at me,
look at me,
judge me.
265 · Oct 2018
"Best Friend"
Feeling unknown by most people
yet so similar to most other feelings.
It's like a ground floor rollercoaster.
I ride the rollercoaster looking out.
Doppelganger looking in from the sidelines.
Two worlds in one heart, one soul, one mind.
Looking out at the world passing you by
while experiencing it all at once.


I experience every emotion like any other.
The emotions come and go with each day and every experience,
but this one never seems to fade.
I prevail, though.
Whether emotions are high or low, left or right, my depression is still there.
It criticizes everything I do,
crippling my mind, soul and heart.


It shan't defeat me, though.
It's like the best friend I never asked for.
Supporting me in the ways it tries to break me down.
Motivating me on the better days.
Pushing me on the harder days because I know I've had worse.
I have learned to live with this new extremity.
One day it may detach itself and if, or whenever, that day shall come I will celebrate.
If that day does not come then I still shall take great strides in my life to be a success because this "best friend" of mine will not make me fail.

— The End —