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 Jan 2018 Kimberly
CE
holy number 7
 Jan 2018 Kimberly
CE
a 7 day
is the only day
I can get into heaven

46 times a year
(not including the whole of july)
I'm allowed to try

7, 17, 27

lucky numbers

I didn't think I'd make it through 2017
a year of free passes
to let the angels walk me down the aisle
and marry me to the sky

on a 7 day
they- the angels-
will calm my trembling and convulsing body
clean up all of my *****
take out the part of my brain that makes me feel bad
grab hold of my bleeding wrists and bandage them with feathers and love

they hold my hands
lifting me up by the grace of god herself
and 700 eyes emerge
out of every wound and pore in my skin

and I become
my own angel
my own god

I will become
my own holy number 7
suicide by number 7 seems like a wonderful way to go. Maybe thats my autism talking.
 Jan 2018 Kimberly
Existential me
I love her.
No not ******* worldly,
But softly, purely , celestially.
Obsessively?
Not necessarily, just completely,
selfishly and I'm sorry.
I love her unconditionally, some say unconventionally.
But they don't understand me.
Yes...I love her.
Most spiritually, asexually, platonically and wholly.
I love her, truly, honestly, musically and poetically...
She doesn't have to love me.
Your looks may fade... my love shall not.
You annoy the **** out of me
I think it's just the chemistry
I try to not bristle at the sound of your voice
But, ugh! It's the most irritating noise
And the things you say, your slant on life
All you ever do is gripe
I wish you the best, and hope you're happy
But please, oh please, stay away from me
time becomes motionless
when entangled in the webs
of mindless indulgence and
made pliable in the mainstream
world of technology by
consuming video after video,
spiraling further and further
away from intelligence,
only to be awoken from
hibernation in the wool gathering
caves of make-believe by the
harsh realism that parental
figures pull them back into
but like most teenagers,
he’s inclined to believe
he knows it all already,
in the saddened truth
that he, in fact, doesn’t....
he’ll continue to fight
tooth and nail
with his poor
grammatical constructions,
which is often corrected by
his younger sister, on how
he knows and he’s correct
but doesn’t actually take
the time to think about
what he’s saying, only
to dig himself a hole
deeper and deeper
until he can’t get out

my own son,
he’s a good kid,
just confused
like the rest of them.
I blame myself mostly
for his lack of
ambition,
curiosity
and know how
by providing the
tools and enabling
such unwillingness

but nothing is going to happen
unless I make it happen
and I’m just not in the mood
right now.
Kids act zombies glued to their phones
listen to music
only made by
dead people
that way you
have an excuse
not to like the
music made by
the ones who
are still living
 Nov 2017 Kimberly
Ni
You helped me see the world with color,
when everything around me seemed to be gray.
My laughter I heard that didn't mean anything for a long time
finally had a purpose.
And I promised myself
that I wouldn't let you control the colors that were
painted on my canvas.
But the thing is,
I handed you the paintbrush,
waiting to see what beautiful thing you would draw for me,
and beautiful it was.
 Nov 2017 Kimberly
Tsunami
Golden girl, your beauty reminds me of dawn  
Like the flowers blossom
Golden girl, you are radiant  
Didn't you know that you were awesome?
Don't be afraid to shine
You are beautiful and oh so divine
Golden girl, your soul is luminous
You are pure magic
If you can't see that
Then that's tragic
Even on the days you don't feel your magic
Your magic still sparkles within
Love yourself when the world doesn't
Feel comfortable inside of your skin
Let me tell you a secret
There is no definition of beauty  
Because beauty is within you
So, hold your head up
Smile bright
And keep a positive attitude
Who is Golden girl?
Golden girl is me, Golden girl is you
And we can do anything we put our minds to

— The End —