It’s amazing how quickly I can shift
My moods are always wild
Absolutely no consistency
Just two days ago
I had the best day I’ve had in months
Maybe even all year
And now
I sit here
Pathetic
Disgusting
Solitary
And I can’t tell
If I feel nothing
Or if I’m in intense pain
I want to drown
I want to hurt
I want to laugh
Idk
I’m just..... wrong.....

When you talk about her
You look in love
When you hear her name alone
You smile as if you’re drunk
When I tell you she’s nice and beautiful and great
You nod your head
As if you’re only subconsciously paying attention
And say,
“Yes. She is.”
But when you hear my name
Nothing comes to mind
Your face shows no emotion
And I don’t know what to think
You’re so oblivious to the fact that
I love you

You look at me
And it’s almost as if
You
Didn’t
Know
Me
As if you’d never cared for me
Hate swells within my heart
You
You
The destroyer
You did not
Keep
Your
Promise
To grow in my heart garden
You
You
Tortured
You set things on fire
Now it’s all ash
And I think
I see wings
Peaking out of the pile

When you’re gone
I can’t breathe
And I think
Help me
Come back, please.

When you’re gone
I crave your arms around me
Even though they’ve never been mine
And I think
Come here.
Don’t leave me, please.

Come back.
I miss you.

But when you’re here
I miss you even more
Because I can never have you

Expectations are bad except when they accept you.

Learn to enjoy the roller-coaster called life,
It's pretty fun.
Sometimes go "happy-go-lucky"
Enjoy the ride,
Because it turns out to be quite short.