Of all life's regrets,
The biggest is words left unsaid.
So send one final text.
Free your last thoughts instead.

The house would echo with screams
As you chased him though the house.
He was terrified by the knife in your hand, but that only made it more fun.
Everytime his mother was gone
The game began again.
Until she found out and you hit her.
That was 11 years ago.
You were 26.
He's still waiting to see you again
With his knife sharpened.
Is this hatred?

Sleep until 3:30, walk to the gas station,
Buy a 12 pack and a carton of Camel.
Your son's mother worked 10 hour shifts,
So he had to stay at your house during the day.
You would already be drunk or high,
When he was begging for food that wasn't there.
"Wait until you leave" was the reply.
That was 7 years ago.
You were 32.
Now you're spending life in prison for ******.
He only looks up the obituary, waiting for your day.
Is this hatred?

The dorm room is silent for once.
The only sound is your heavy breathing.
It's the fourth panic attack this week,
And your hand can't take much more.
It's still bandaged from two nights ago.
Every night you look in the mirror
To see the man your past created and cringe.
That was an hour ago.
You are 18.
Blue-green eyes are staring back at you,
All you see is regret, disgust, and apathy.
Is this hatred?

Last night I dreamed of you.
There you were, right in front of me.
I heard your unfamiliar laugh.
I saw your once real smile.
I recognized the look of uncertain joy.
I swore I could feel you if I had just reached out and tried.
I didn't though.

Last night I dreamed of you.
For the first time it wasn't a nightmare,
Nor some long forgotten memory.
Everything was as it ever was.
A simple moment in the time that was us.
A truly peaceful moment absent of all actions besides existing.
It was purely nothing but itself.
That nothingness brought bliss in a way that is unable to be described.
I considered trying to save that feeling.
I didn't though.

Last night I dreamed of you.
After I woke I tried to remember you.
Who you were.
Not who you are,
Or who I think you will be.
I tried to remember who you were
To remind me who I was.
I wanted to find you and myself,
Everything and everyone I'm looking for.
I didn't though.

Last night I dreamed of you.
Tonight I won't.

In this moment of silence,
I think on how it's almost a new year.
But I'm not ready to leave this one.
My year with you.

I don't know if it's lust or hatred
Loneliness or happiness,
Or jealousy mixed with envy.
That makes me miss you so.

My dreams and nightmares are plagued with your disease.
I am weary with you.
Your sadistic smile
Makes me so joyful,
And all I hear is dread.

Longing for that touch leaves me worried.
Pride and arrogance always stood in my way.
You show me how to feel cruel.
That makes me miss that fright

Hey Mom, I wrote you a song tonight.
Just so you know how much I miss you.
Hey Mom, I promise I'm alright.
You're not much of a talker, me too.
 But I'll just be waiting til you get home.
Yeah, I'm just here alone.
It's nothing new.
You know it's true.

Hey Mom, I hope you're having fun.
I miss you now but there's nothing wrong.
Hey Mom, when will you be done?
I'm laying here listening to our old songs.
Would you come home soon maybe? 
I promise I haven't gone crazy.
Living alone doesn't mean I'm not alright.
I just miss you badly tonight.

Hello Old Friend.
How have you been?
It's been awhile since I last seen those tears.
I just want you've known
That my feelings have not grown
We've just changed thoughout the years.

I say I love you, that's a lie.
At times I still wish you would die.
I don't mean to sound that rude, I'm wrong.
Your blue-green eyes are full of pain.
It makes me wonder if you're still sane.
That's a lie, I know you've been ****** up all along.

We use to be so much better.
I thought you were very clever.
You fooled them all, even me.
I wish I could go back and make it clearer,
But I'm talking to the mirror
At the destroyed boy I see.