He asks me "don't you just love her? "

As if to tell me how perfect he thinks she is

As if to tell me I cannot be compared

And I want to tell him no

No!

I do not like her

Or the way she treats you

Or the way she speaks to you

I don't like that she gets to kiss you

Or to touch you

Or that she takes for granted the way you make everyone around you laugh even when I know you're hurting

I don't like that she is yours

And I don't like that I can never be

I don't know what's worse anymore

Missing someone you once had

Or missing someone who was never even yours.

I wonder how many memories I would have to erase

Before seeing your face made me do anything other than smile.

You may not know this,
but I think of you often.
I genuinely miss you
but I don't know
what to say anymore.

The only thing I've found to be truly harder than loving someone

Is learning to let go enough to love again.

I still cringe when I meet someone with your name

Your name

Like the slowest poison
It never leaves me

Just slowly eats away

Ah your name

How I wish I could eradicate it from my soul

I would die for you.
Take a bullet,
Walk through fire,
Jump out of a car
For you
I wish you felt this way,
Too.

Sincerely,
Me