She takes the stand
With the voice of millions on her back
And speaks the fact that we all know,
far too well to be true -
She is heard but not believed,
She is heard with faith deceived .
When will it be enough -
Is one in six not enough ?
Is one sister, one friend
still - not enough?
one colleague, one mother, one wife, one lover -
one teacher, one doctor, one preacher, one author -
one husband, one son, one brother.
Which one will it take, to stop
the non-consensual clock
and make us realise that -
Time. Is. Up.
I have created many different lives for myself
None real, and all imagined in my brain
They sometimes feel too realistic
To the point of wishing myself to be a different person
To live an impossible life
That due to my circumstances I cannot possibly live
And due to my short attention span
As I daydream quite often
I wonder if all people think like this?
If they are constantly bombarded with fleeting fantasy’s
And unrealistic imagery
That makes for a terribly distracted and imaginative mind
That is all too annoying all of the time.
Do you ever just feel not real?
Even if you aren’t working
That does not mean you are wasting your time
Relax for a moment and take a deep breath
I can see that you are doing your best
And I am proud of you, take my word for that
I don't know who you are and you don't know me
But I truly believe that you can do amazing things
Cheesy, I know, but something that's been on my mind.
A longing so deeply rooted tugs at my heart
It crawls through and breaks the surface of my being
It’s bursting at the seams and waiting to be released
It’s always been there, teeming in my being
Only just recently have I discovered a sound meaning
Neverending, a search for meaning
Desperately climbing trees to reach something I cannot see
Spontaneity, just to see if it feels more freeing
I just want to see beyond my life
Beyond the things I’ve never seen
I always want to go on a roadtrip this time of year
I run and run and run
And yet I always fall short
I can’t keep up with my fellow race runners
I am falling behind
I stop sometimes
And I look around this empty street
On occasion, I forget just why I’m running in this race
I sit and I ponder and I get all puzzled
Until I feel the darkness surrounding beginning to surround me
It creeps up my back and makes me shiver with unbearable fear
Of the future
It spurs me on and licks at my heels
Until the cycle starts-
Why am I running, again?
Can't stop won't stop.
I’m missing you a lot tonight
I miss the conversations I could only have with you
And truly feeling understood
I miss you caring for me, in a way no other friend had
I miss you calling me your little flower as you put one in my hair
I miss drinking coffee with you and talking about boys
You’d raise your eyebrows in such a funny way
I thought our friendship was something you cherished
As you told me so before
It was foolish of me
To think you’d cherish me
As I had cherished you
And because of that, we fell apart
Unfairly, and too easily
Considering how much I cared for you
I could never totally forget you
You impacted me so greatly
But there’s always time for goodbye
And for me, that is now
You hid manipulation and passive aggression
Behind the mask of friendship
Because of that, I vow to be different
As of right now, I’m saying goodbye
To feeling like I’m only worthy of this kind of friendship
This is ramble and totally unpolished and I love it and I hate it.
I’ve happened upon a realization
As I explored the depths
And one that reminded me of them
One that made me seriously think
About my life
About my maturity in comparison
To the role models I’ve had
So far so good,
But I live in a constant state of dread
Thinking that I will be projecting the same influence to friends
That I once had been given
And that took me down a path
I really wish I didn’t need to explore in order to build
I think too much about things I've thought about a million times.